Dear Consumers: > > It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS 2000 TEXAS > EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside of the state of Texas. > > If you have one of these, you may need some help understanding the commands. > > > The TEXAS EDITION may be recognized by the unique opening screen. It reads: > WINDERS 2000, with a background picture of George W. Bush superimposed on > the Alamo. > > Please also note: > > The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse" > My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption" > Dial Up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys" > Control Panel is known as "The Dashboard" > Hard Drive is referred to as "4-Wheel Drive" > Floppies are "Them little ol' plastic thangs" > Instead of an error message, "Duct tape" pops up > > CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN TEXAS EDITION: > Cancel . . . . . . . . stopdat > Reset . . . . . . . . . try'er agin > Yes . . . . . . . . . . yep > No . . . . . . . . . . . nope > Find . . . . . . . . . . hunt fer it > Go to. . . . . . . . . over yonder > Back . . . . . . . . . back yonder > Help . . . . . . . . . . hep me out here > Stop . . . . . . . . . . kwitit > Start . . . . . . . . . crank'er up > Settings . . . . . . . settins > Programs . . . . . . stuff at duz stuff > Documents . . . . . stuff ah done did > > Also note that the TEXAS EDITION does not recognize capital letters or > punctuation marks. > > Some programs that are exclusive to Winders 2000: > > Tiperiter . . . . . . . . . a word processing program > Colerin' Book . . . . . a graphics program > Cyferin' mersheen . . calculator > Outhouse paper . . . notepad > Inner-net . . . . . . . . . Microsoft Explorer 5.0 > Pitchers . . . . . . . . . a graphics viewer > > We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of the > TEXAS EDITION. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version. > > I hope this helps all ya'll! > > Billy Bob Gates
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