I'm intrigued by these UPS planes that have IFF and target radar.... 2009/5/27 Jannie du Preez <jan...@jadsys.co.za>
> Thanks Richard, I almost wet myself. > > Jannie > > > > > > Just in case you need a laugh: > > > > Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school > diploma to fix one; a reassurance to those of us who fly routinely in our > jobs. After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe > sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The > mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then > pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. > > > > Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are > some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS ' pilots (marked with a > P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. > > > > By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an > accident. > > > > P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. > > S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. > > * > > P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. > > S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. > > * > > P: Something loose in cockpit > > S: Something tightened in cockpit > > * > > P: Dead bugs on windshield. > > S: Live bugs on back-order. > > * > > P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute > descent. > > S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. > > * > > P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. > > S: Evidence removed. > > * > > P: DME volume unbelievably loud. > > S: DME volume set to more believable level. > > * > > P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. > > S: That's what friction locks are for. > > * > > P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode. > > S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. > > * > > P: Suspected crack in windshield. > > S: Suspect you're right. > > * > > P: Number 3 engine missing. > > S: Engine found on right wing after brief search > > * > > P: Aircraft handles funny. > > (I love this one!) > > S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious. > > * > > P: Target radar hums. > > S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. > > * > > P: Mouse in cockpit. > > S: Cat installed. > > * > > And the best one for last... > > * > > P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget > pounding on something with a hammer. > > S: Took hammer away from midget. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > _______________________________________ > Search the KRnet Archives at http://www.maddyhome.com/krsrch/index.jsp > to UNsubscribe from KRnet, send a message to krnet-le...@mylist.net > please see other KRnet info at http://www.krnet.org/info.html >
