On Mon, 1 Nov 1999, curious wrote:
> "Unconscious assumption that women help and defer to men, perhaps?" Jen M.
>
> I don't belive it is anyone's obligation to help another.
This is a difference between men and women's perspective. Women ARE raised
to help. If you don't understand the deference/help thing, you'll never
understand why a) women get so frustrated when they try to do their OWN
thing; b) why women so often defer their own lives until middle age; c)
why they resent themselves and others because of frustrations with a) and
b).
Please note that YOU are in OUR reality here and, for a change, we are not
in yours. Try living for a week, just ONE WEEK, with an overriding
command to "defer to men" and to "help others, especially men." Just see
how frustrated you feel and multiply it times years and years.
Honestly, this list has done more to make me *understand* lesbians as a
cultural group than any of my 40 years of experience on earth. :)
> 1. to find out what issues exists for women in the male dominated
> technocracy, find out what I might be able to do about them, and offer
> viewpoints that may not have been thought of before.
Um, why do you think you have such a unique perspective? I guarantee you
we've pretty much "heard it all." And, as my SO pointed out, if we need
men to tell us about how not to be disempowered, that's pretty telling,
isn't it? :)
If you're here to *learn* and in a constructive manner, that's cool.
I think if we started with a ground zero assumption here that men (and not
just you specifically) really do not understand the motivations and issues
of women, we'd be starting someplace useful.
And, instead of coming in and, in your first post suggesting people
change the way they do things and the second post bringing up your pet
porn project, if you showed HUMILITY, you would be much better received.
So, show some. :)
> 2. in some small way to keep tabs in an usual way with two of my niftiest
> friends :)
:)
> 3. and yes to test out issues with my bizzar project... btw it has never
> been my intention to promote this project.. I have not at any point in
> time give any form of refrence to it. Yes the project is (and has been)
> rather stagnent.. however it's my fault and I do have plenty of intrested
> people. I appoligize for bringing it up since it seems to be quite off
> topic, I should have followed threads better before I posted...
It's not just off-topic it's a sore subject. Most women don't like porn
and it offends them. That said, different people draw the line in
different places. But it is just really out of line here.
--
_Deirdre * http://www.linuxcabal.net * http://www.deirdre.net
"Mars has been a tough target" -- Peter G. Neumann, Risks Digest Moderator
"That's because the Martians keep shooting things down." -- Harlan Rosenthal
<[EMAIL PROTECTED]>, retorting in Risks Digest 20.60
************
[EMAIL PROTECTED] http://www.linuxchix.org
