Hello Mallory Many thanks for your review and comments. I agree with your constructive points and made the proposed changes. Please see below:
Le lun. 7 oct. 2024 à 16:24, Mallory Knodel via Datatracker < nore...@ietf.org> a écrit : > Reviewer: Mallory Knodel > Review result: Ready with Issues > > I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area > Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed > by the IESG for the IETF Chair. Please treat these comments just > like any other last call comments. > > For more information, please see the FAQ at > > <https://wiki.ietf.org/en/group/gen/GenArtFAQ>. > > Document: draft-ietf-raw-technologies-?? > Reviewer: Mallory Knodel > Review Date: 2024-10-07 > IETF LC End Date: 2024-09-18 > IESG Telechat date: Not scheduled for a telechat > > Summary: This document is a very useful informational text about the > requirements of reliability and availability for various uses in networks > connected with wireless technologies. > > Major issues: The introduction could make it clearer to the reader how the > technologies were chosen, if it is a complete set at the time of writing, > and > other revisions that indicate more clearly the purpose. I also find the > final > paragraph of the introduction more helpful about the document's contents > than > the current abstract: > This document browses the short and middle range radio technologies > that are suitable to provide a DetNet/RAW service over, presents the > characteristics that RAW may leverage, and explores the applicability > of the technologies to carry deterministic flows. The studied > technologies are Wi-Fi 6/7, TimeSlotted Channel Hopping (TSCH), 3GPP > 5G, and L-band Digital Aeronautical Communications System (LDACS). > > Used as abstract. > Minor issues: > > Other reviewers have also noted the slightly awkward "summary" subsection > at > the end of each section and my suggested approach might be to include this > as > the *first* paragraph for each section, before the subsections begin, eg: > > 4. IEEE 802.11 > > [Summary paragraph without subsection heading] > > 4.1. Provenance and Documents > > done > ... > > Nits/editorial comments: (none). > > > Many thanks! Pascal -- Pascal
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