> On Mar 16, 2017, at 20:43, Meral Shirazipour <meral.shirazip...@ericsson.com> > wrote: > > I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area Review > Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the IESG for the > IETF Chair. Please treat these comments just like any other last call > comments. > For more information, please see the FAQ at > <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>. > > > Document: draft-ietf-rtcweb-overview-18 > Reviewer: Meral Shirazipour > Review Date: 2017-03-16 > IETF LC End Date: 2017-03-20 > IESG Telechat date: 2017-04-13 > > > Summary: > This draft is ready to be published as Standards Track RFC but I have > comments.
Harald and I (the shepherd) thank you for your review. > Major issues: > Minor issues: > Nits/editorial comments: > -[Page 3] "an other hardware has"---->"and other hardware have” fixed > -[Page 4], the word "subprotocol" was not clear to me. Would it be possible > to add in parenthesis a few example for protocol and subprotocol? Mostly talking about Websockets-related sub-protocols. XMPP and SIP are examples noted later. > -[Page 4], "an WebRTC"--->""a WebRTC” fixed > -[Page 7], "Interactive Connectivty"--->"Interactive Connectivity” fixed > -General: please spell out acronyms at first use I caught a couple, but I’m sure I missed some. I figured I let some go like “SDP Agent” in the terminology section because people can just as easily go there. There’s also a lot in the RFC acronym list that don’t necessarily need to be expanded. > -General: the writing (or perhaps lack of punctuation) in this draft made it > hard to read. Please consider reviewing it especially if the draft is > intended as Standards Track. I’m going to leave this one to the RFC editor. Every time I try to make something sound better they just do a better job. PR can be found here: https://github.com/rtcweb-wg/rtcweb-overview/pull/13/ spt _______________________________________________ Gen-art mailing list Gen-art@ietf.org https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art
