Hi, Toke.
I had a look through the updated draft from today (after opsdir fixes)
and I think it addresses all the issues and editorials that I identified
in my LC review. Adding the comments on the state diagram is probably
OK. I won't push the idea of capitalising quantum etc. any further.
In the light of Brian C's note and his exchange with Dave about labels,
I think Dave might add a few words about using the label as a
classification mechanism.
I think Dave also wishes to reference the longer version of Paul
McKenney's SFQ paper, referencing an archive.org link to this paper as a
long-term stable version. This would be fine be me.
In the process of looking at these updates, I spotted a couple of nits
that I missed on the previous passes:
s2, para 1: The phraseology here is not future-proof:
OLD:
the AQM working group draft [I-D.ietf-aqm-codel].
NEW:
the IETF document [I-D.ietf-aqm-codel].
END
s3, para 2 and s4.1, para 2: (same issue in 2 places)
OLD:
source
and destination IP and port numbers
NEW:
source
and destination IP addresses and port numbers
END
s4.1, last para:
Boringly, these ought to have references and an expansion of GRE. I suggest
OLD:
The Linux implementation does
this for common encapsulations known to the kernel, such as 6in4,
IPIP and GRE tunnels.
NEW:
The Linux implementation does this for common encapsulations known to
the kernel, such as 6in4 [RFC4213], IP-in-IP [RFC2003] and GRE (Generic
Routing Encapsulation) [RFC2890].
END
s5.6: s/Weighed/Weighted/ (I think). PS: A ref for WFQ would be:
/A. Demers, S. Keshav, and S. Shenker. "Analysis and simulation of a
fair queueing algorithm./ In Journal of Internetworking Research and
Experience, pages 3-26, October 1990. Also in Proceedings of ACM
SIGCOMM´89, pp 3-12.
I see you incorporated the opsdir comments - check with Martin whether
he wants you to publish the updated version before the end of last call
since it is the day of the IESG meeting.
Thanks,
Elwyn
PS
Toke... your surname is too long!! This is the first draft I have
noticed that the footer line runs out of space due to a combination of a
long surname and the long month name. It is particularly noticeable on
the new version due to the day number taking an extra space. ;-) I don't
think we'll bother too much about this.
/E
Sent from Samsung tablet.
-------- Original message --------
From: Toke Høiland-Jørgensen <[email protected]>
Date: 13/03/2016 12:19 (GMT+00:00)
To: Elwyn Davies <[email protected]>
Cc: General area reviewing team <[email protected]>,
[email protected]
Subject: Re: Gen-art LC review of draft-ietf-aqm-fq-codel-05
Hi Elwyn
I have now been through your comments and produced an updated version of
the draft. It is available from here:
https://kau.toke.dk/ietf/draft-ietf-aqm-fq-codel-06.html (or .txt if you
prefer).
Most of your comments I have just incorporated (variants of), with a
single stylistic exception as noted below. I *think* I managed to cover
everything, but I did this in two sittings, so something may have
slipped through the cracks, I suppose. Let me know if that is the case.
I believe Dave has replied to most of your other comments, so I won't go
through them again unless you point out something I missed. For the full
diff (of the source document), see here:
https://github.com/dtaht/bufferbloat-rfcs/commit/0d7f1963cc27d11129bcb5fe2affb90ebc6e67d3
Cheers,
-Toke
Elwyn Davies <[email protected]> writes:
> General: It would be helpful to capitalize Quantum throughout (or at
> least from s3 onwards) to emphasise that it is a configured value.
> Likewise Interval and Target parameters. Maybe also Flow and Queue as
> they a defined terms.
I think this is the only stylistic change I haven't made. I thought it
made it more difficult to read, not less.
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