Thanks for the review and comments Christer! We'll take these into
account for the next revision.
Cheers,
Ari
On 9/26/13 10:25 AM, Christer Holmberg wrote:
I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on
Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at
<http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>
Document: draft-ietf-hip-reload-instance-08
Reviewer: Christer Holmberg
Review Date: 26 September 2013
IETF LC End Date: 30 September 2013
IETF Telechat Date: N/A
Summary: The document is well written, and ready for publication, with
some minor editorial nits that I ask the authors to consider fixing.
Major Issues: None
Minor Issues: None
Nits/editorial comments:
Abstract:
------------
Q_A_1:
I would suggest to modify “is the” to “specifies the”.
Section 1:
-------------
Q_1_1:
In the abstract the text says “Host Identity Protocol-Based Overlay
Networking Environment (HIP BONE)”, and in Section 1 the text says “HIP
BONE (Host Identify Protocol-Based Overlay Networking Environment)”. I
suggest to be consistent.
Q_1_2:
Throughout the document, you talk about “RELOAD HIP BONE”. For that
reason, I suggest to expand:
“This document addresses all the previous items and provides additional
details needed to built RELOAD-based HIP BONEs.”
…to:
“This document addresses all the previous items and provides additional
details needed to built RELOAD-based HIP BONEs, referred to as RELOAD
HIP BONEs.”
Section 3:
-------------
Q_3_1:
I suggest to modify:
“The peer protocol to be used is RELOAD, which is specified in
[I-D.ietf-p2psip-base].”
…to:
“The peer protocol to be used is RELOAD [I-D.ietf-p2psip-base].”
Q_3_2:
Please expand RELOAD on first occurrence (outside the abstract).
Section 4:
-------------
Q_4_1:
Please expand ORCHID on first occurrence.
Section 5:
-------------
Q_5_1:
I suggest to remove “defined in Section 6.5 of [I-D.ietf-p2psip-base]”,
as you already state this in Section 3.
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