On 8/24/21 10:54 AM, uǝlƃ ☤>$ wrote: > I suppose my problem is that I *do* think we can find "the sadness" inside > the brain ... well, not inside the brain, exactly, but inside the *body* ... > well, not *inside* the body but peri-body, localized *at* the body, but > extending out into the body's context a bit > > Just like with one's thumb, sadness comprises a dynamic mesh of interlinked > feedback loops. And that dynamic mesh of feedback is *part* of a larger mesh > of such loops. (Re: "putting it in a robot" - cf types of attention: soft, > hard, self, etc.) Some of those loops *look at* the sadness cluster, register > that cluster as "other" in some sense ... just like how I can imagine > chopping off my thumb and tossing that object into the woods. One of my favorite books (or at least book titles) about depression is "Born on a Blue Day"... in exploring the natural history of "the noonday demon" it is fascinating to discover the myriad ways humans have apprehended (and possibly experienced?) "depression". The monastic "acedia" and "melancholy" come to mind as alternative apprehensions of similar experiences? > Because I do this all the time, it would blow my mind if others did not also > do it. I particularly do it with fear. Wake up startled. Think maybe there's > someone in the house. Grab the bat. As I'm walking up the stairs, I *reflect* > on my registered, now objectified fear. And, in doing so, wiggle my way out > of the grip of that fear and think more tactically about how to behave if > there's a human-shaped shadow in the living room. > > I do the same thing with pain, particularly my chronic back pain, but also > with things like stubbed toes. It's fscking hilarious how much that hurts ... > ridiculously over-emphasized pain for what has happened. To not step outside > the pain and laugh out loud would be weird. It's just way too funny how much > that hurts.
I remember acutely the two moments as a child when I A) landed on my tailbone; and B) knocked my wind out. My very first or most evident thought was "Gawdess, I think I'm going to die!" followed quickly by "Oh my Gawdess I'm afraid this might not kill me and I will have to endure it (another minute which feels like) forever!". Those kinds of overwrought visceral experiences are so deep, they are hard to avoid, even if it IS possible to "step outside and laugh at it". I don't do either (wind nor tailbone) often in my older and more careful years but when excruciatingly painful (out of scale of reason) things happen to me, I have learned to just give over to it because I KNOW it is transient and I TRUST I would never induce that kind of pain deliberately, I might as well indulge in the experience of this rare Altered State for the brief moment it will be with me. Coloréame loco, - Steve
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