1. Come to Santa Fe when you can. 2. La Mott says that writing, rather than being published, bestows the benefits.
I understand your struggles with the story of your parents' lives. When I wrote my little memoir I made discoveries like "this couldn't have happened before that" that I had to straighten out. ----------------------------------- Frank Wimberly Phone (505) 670-9918 On Tue, Apr 16, 2019, 12:43 PM Jochen Fromm <j...@cas-group.net> wrote: > About the last point 14, death: I believe the best way to fight against > the destructive force of death is to be creative, to create something. It > is what genes repeatedly do. They create bodies as survival vehicles for > themselves, again and again. As Barack Obama said about Notre Dame "It’s in > our nature to mourn when we see history lost – but it’s also in our nature > to rebuild for tomorrow, as strong as we can" (Do you miss him in the White > House as well?) > https://twitter.com/BarackObama/status/1117886698568830976 > > After my parents died a few years ago I'm trying to write a biography > about their life, which is quite hard. The more you write, the harder it > gets, because it becomes harder to fit everything together and your own > text puts you down. And if you want it to be good, you have to proofread it > over and over again until you can't see it anymore and then 10 times more. > However I think I have finished it now and will publish it this year > together with the other book. It is not perfect and will not bring them > back to life but it is the best I could do. > > I'm thinking of Doug Roberts sometimes, who frequently wrote to this list > and died too early as well. Honestly I don't know much about him, except > that he had a parrot farm, and often wrote some funny or interesting stuff > here. It would be wonderful if someone could write a book, ebook or > something about the FRIAM group, the real one that meets in Santa Fe. I > can't do that because I've never been there. As you know everything which > is not recorded or written down gets lost in the course of time. > > -Jochen > > > > -------- Original message -------- > From: Frank Wimberly <wimber...@gmail.com> > Date: 4/15/19 04:06 (GMT+01:00) > To: The Friday Morning Applied Complexity Coffee Group <friam@redfish.com> > > Subject: [FRIAM] Everything she knows... > > > This is an essay by Anne La Mott that I came across 4 years ago. It may > seem that a late middle-aged non-scientist could not could contribute > philosophical thoughts that are worthy of the heights of Friam but I find > that it integrates the sublime and the ridiculous quite well. Kind of like > Friam meetings. The posts on the List are a little more coherent. > > I was ten years old when she was born. She is a successful novelist, > essayist, and short-story writer. > > "I am going to be 61 years old in 48 hours. Wow. I thought i was only > forty-seven, but looking over the paperwork, I see that I was born in > 1954. My inside self does not have an age, although can't help mentioning > as an aside that it might have been useful had I not followed the Skin Care > rules of the sixties, ie to get as much sun as possible, while slathered in > baby oil. (My sober friend Paul O said, at eighty, that he felt like a > young man who had something wrong with him.). Anyway, I thought I might > take the opportunity to write down every single thing I know, as of today. > > 1. All truth is a paradox. Life is a precious unfathomably beautiful > gift; and it is impossible here, on the incarnational side of things. It > has been a very bad match for those of us who were born extremely > sensitive. It is so hard and weird that we wonder if we are being punked. > And it filled with heartbreaking sweetness and beauty, floods and babies > and acne and Mozart, all swirled together. > > 2. Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few > minutes, including you. > > 3. There is almost nothing outside of you that will help in any kind > of last way, unless you are waiting for an organ. You can't buy, achieve, > or date it. This is the most horrible truth. > > 4. Everyone is screwed up, broken, clingy, and scared, even the > people who seem to have it more or less together. They are much more like > you than you would believe. So try not to compare your insides to their > outsides. Also, you can't save, fix or rescue any of them, or get any of > them sober. But radical self-care is quantum, and radiates out into the > atmosphere, like a little fresh air. It is a huge gift to the world. When > people respond by saying, "Well, isn't she full of herself," smile > obliquely, like Mona Lisa, and make both of you a nice cup of tea. > > 5. Chocolate with 70% cacao is not actually a food. It's best use is > as bait in snake traps. > > 6. Writing: shitty first drafts. Butt in chair. Just do it. You own > everything that happened to you. You are going to feel like hell if you > never write the stuff that is tugging on the sleeves in your heart--your > stories, visions, memories, songs: your truth, your version of things, in > your voice. That is really all you have to offer us, and it's why you were > born > > 7. Publication and temporary creative successes are something you > have to recover from. They kill as many people as not. They will hurt, > damage and change you in ways you cannot imagine. The most degraded and > sometimes nearly-evil men I have known were all writers who'd had > bestsellers. Yet, it is also a miracle to get your work published (see > #1.). Just try to bust yourself gently of the fantasy that publication will > heal you, will fill the Swiss cheesey holes. It won't, it can't. But > writing can. So can singing. > > 8. Families; hard, hard, hard, no matter how cherished and > astonishing they may also be. (See #1 again.) At family gatherings where > you suddenly feel homicidal or suicidal, remember that in half of all > cases, it's a miracle that this annoying person even lived. Earth is > Forgiveness School. You might as well start at the dinner table. That > way, you can do this work in comfortable pants. When Blake said that we > are here to learn to endure the beams of love, he knew that your family > would be an intimate part of this, even as you want to run screaming for > your cute little life. But that you are up to it. You can do it, > Cinderellie. You will be amazed. > > 9. Food; try to do a little better. > > 10. Grace: Spiritual WD-40. Water wings. The mystery of grace is > that God loves Dick Cheney and me exactly as much as He or She loves your > grandchild. Go figure. The movement of grace is what changes us, heals us > and our world. To summon grace, say, "Help!" And then buckle up. Grace > won't look like Casper the Friendly Ghost; but the phone will ring, or the > mail will come, and then against all odds, you will get your sense of humor > about yourself back. Laughter really is carbonated holiness, even if you > are sick of me saying it. > > 11. God; Goodnesss, Love energy, the Divine, a loving animating > intelligence, the Cosmic Muffin. You will worship and serve something, so > like St. Bob said, you gotta choose. You can play on our side, or Bill > Maher's and Franklin Graham's. Emerson said that the happiest person on > earth is the one who learns from nature the lessons of worship. So go > outside a lot, and look up. My pastor says you can trap bees on the floor > of a Mason jar without a lid, because they don't look up. If they did, > they could fly to freedom. > > 11. Faith: Paul Tillich said the opposite of faith is not doubt, but > certainty. If I could say one thing to our little Tea Party friends, it > would be this. Fundamentalism, in all its forms, is 90% of the reason the > world is so terrifying. 3% is the existence of snakes. The love of our > incredible dogs and cats is the closest most of us will come, on this side > of eternity, to knowing the direct love of God; although cats can be so > bitter, which is not the god part: the crazy Love is. Also, "Figure it > out" is not a good slogan. > > 12. Jesus; Jesus would have even loved horrible, mealy-mouth > self-obsessed you, as if you were the only person on earth. But He would > hope that you would perhaps pull yourself together just the tiniest, > tiniest bit--maybe have a little something to eat, and a nap. > > 13. Exercise: If you want to have a good life after you have grown a > little less young, you must walk almost every day. There is no way around > this. If you are in a wheelchair, you must do chair exercises. Every > single doctor on earth will tell you this, so don't go by what I say. > > 14. Death; wow. So f-ing hard to bear, when the few people you > cannot live without die. You will never get over these losses, and are not > supposed to. We Christians like to think death is a major change of > address, but in any case, the person will live fully again in your heart, > at some point, and make you smile at the MOST inappropriate times. But > their absence will also be a lifelong nightmare of homesickness for you. > All truth is a paradox. Grief, friends, time and tears will heal you. > Tears will bathe and baptize and hydrate you and the ground on which you > walk. The first thing God says to Moses is, "Take off your shoes." We are > on holy ground. Hard to believe, but the truest thing I know. > > I think that's it, everything I know. I wish I had shoe-horned in > what E.L. Doctorow said about writing: "It's like driving at night with the > headlights on. You can only see a little aways ahead of you, but you can > make the whole journey that way." I love that, because it's teue about > everything we tey. I wish I had slipped in what Ram Das said, that when > all is said and done, we're just all walking each other home. Oh, well, > another time. God bless you all good." > > ----------------------------------- > Frank Wimberly > > My memoir: > https://www.amazon.com/author/frankwimberly > > My scientific publications: > https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Frank_Wimberly2 > > Phone (505) 670-9918 > ============================================================ > FRIAM Applied Complexity Group listserv > Meets Fridays 9a-11:30 at cafe at St. John's College > to unsubscribe http://redfish.com/mailman/listinfo/friam_redfish.com > archives back to 2003: http://friam.471366.n2.nabble.com/ > FRIAM-COMIC http://friam-comic.blogspot.com/ by Dr. Strangelove >
============================================================ FRIAM Applied Complexity Group listserv Meets Fridays 9a-11:30 at cafe at St. John's College to unsubscribe http://redfish.com/mailman/listinfo/friam_redfish.com archives back to 2003: http://friam.471366.n2.nabble.com/ FRIAM-COMIC http://friam-comic.blogspot.com/ by Dr. Strangelove
