Re: [FRIAM] Direct conversation

[Steve Smith]

Russ - Hi Steve, I'm curious about your last paragraph. On Mon, Jun 22, 2009 at 9:11 AM, Steve Smith <sasm...@swcp.com> wrote: I think that Russ was righteously trying to get Nick to "nail down" a couple of words or concepts which Nick (also righteously) avoided as to do so would very likely disturb the real point he was trying to make. I will acknowledge that sometimes one makes a point by acting in a certain way rather than by speaking directly.  I find it frustrating, though, when someone attempts to make a point to me by refusing to be clear about terms but not acknowledging doing that. It would seem much simpler (and less frustrating for me) simply to say that certain terms cannot be defined precisely than to act as if one were being clear but intentionally being unclear.  I can only guess at Nick's intentions, but I did not interpret his non-responsiveness as particularly deliberate.  It seemed to me that he was simply focusing on the part of the discussion that he was focused on (pardon the tautology).   In saying the preceding, I'm not criticizing Nick. He and I have been around the bush too many times to start again. But I am interested in your point. Do you really want to be treated as I described?  I don't. I'm used to people ignoring things I say or even ask directly...  it can be quite irritating and depending on how I perceive their intentions, I may even be offended.   Sometimes (usually upon reflection), I recognize it as reflecting a different focus. I take it as a basic value to be as clear as possible as much as possible and to be clear that one is not being clear when that is the case. Having written that I can think of situations (e.g., negotiations) when a dollop of ambiguity helps. But I think that's a different situation. Brainstorming is a common situation where people are not responsive to other's statements/questions... perhaps this is a form of negotiation... negotiating over what the topic is... I hope this was responsive. - Steve

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