Hi all,I have read section 1-3 of the current version of the RFC7170bis draft and found a few nits:
Section 2.1:
and handles the iapplication data
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Section 3.2:
TLS-PSK may work (or not) with TEAP, depending on the status of a
particular implementation, and it therefore not useful to deploy it.
^^
missing 'is' (or replace it with is)
Section 3.5:
[...] using the tls- unique [...]
^^^^
remove the space here.
Session-Id = teap_type \| tls-unique
^^
should probably only be "|"
Section 3.6.3:
If there is a non-fatal error handling the inner method, instead [...]
^^^^^^^^^^^
I had to read the whole sentence twice to understand
that it means "If there is a (non-fatal error) (handling the inner
methdo)" (Brackets indicate words belonging together)
Maybe this sentence could be adjusted (i.e. exchanging "handling" by
"processing" or inserting a word like "while handling" or "in handling")
Section 3.7:The link to Section 4.3 on the datatracker is a link to section 4.3 of the draft, not to RFC3748, as it was intended.
Section 3.8:
Server authentication results if the peer trusts [...]
^^^^^^^
Maybe use a different word here?
(Same thing a few sentence further.)
mutual authentication and an Master Session Key (MSK)
^^
*a* Master or *an* MSK
This whole sentence sounds weird to me and I'm not exactly sure what the
text is trying to say there.
Section 3.8.1:
The TEAP peer operations between obtaining the tls_unique value [...]
^^^^^^^^^^
Inconsitency: tls-unique everywhere else
(happens again in this sentence)
Maybe I'll have more nits in a few days, when I had time to read the
other sections.
Cheers, Janfred -- E-Mail: rieck...@dfn.de | Fon: +49 30884299-339 | Fax: +49 30884299-370 Pronomen: er/sein | Pronouns: he/him __________________________________________________________________________________DFN - Deutsches Forschungsnetz | German National Research and Education Network
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