Reposted to StackExchange - Community Building <http://communitybuilding.stackexchange.com/questions/1496/how-to-reduce-tensions-in-a-virtual-community-full-of-passionate-people>, and it seems to be appreciated.
On Fri, Apr 8, 2016 at 8:37 PM, Niclas Hedhman <nic...@hedhman.org> wrote: > Feel free to do whatever you want... > > The only other "source" is general advice given on mailing lists at ASF and > elsewhere, that I "consumed" into my consciousness, tried and filtered. No > verbatim source exist. > > Cheers > Niclas > > On Sat, Apr 9, 2016 at 11:17 AM, Greg Chase <gch...@gmail.com> wrote: > > > This is excellent. I hope you don't mind if I fork this! > > > > Are you the original source or is there another place that deserves > credit > > as well? > > > > This email encrypted by tiny buttons & fat thumbs, beta voice > recognition, > > and autocorrect on my iPhone. > > > > > On Apr 8, 2016, at 6:50 PM, Niclas Hedhman <nic...@hedhman.org> wrote: > > > > > > Everyone, > > > recently there was some tension/friction in a community, and I posted > the > > > following advice to everyone to better get along. Not only did the > > > community members responded positively, but I also got pinged privately > > to > > > make this available publicly, so here it is, and I will let the wider > > > community do with it what it sees fit... > > > > > > > > > First a few general guidelines; > > > a. Assume that the other party agrees more than disagrees with you. We > > > tend to leave out agreements and focus on differences. Sometime this is > > > forgotten and escalation becomes absurd for no rational reason. > > > > > > b. When in doubt, assume that you are interpreting the message wrongly > > > and kindly ask for verification that you understood a particular topic > > well. > > > > > > c. When writing, assume that every sentence will be misinterpreted. > > > Review and try to reformulate to be as clear as possible. > > > > > > d. Use a submissive tone in all writing. Instead of the strong "In my > > > opinion, we must..." or the quite neutral "I think we should...", try > to > > > use "Maybe we should consider..." or "Another idea that we could..." > > > > > > e. If you disagree strongly with an email sent, tag it Important, > then > > > put it aside. Read it half a day later again. Put it aside. Read it > again > > > next day, and then it is easier to write a balanced and inviting > > response, > > > instead of the initial vitriol that flows through us when we get > upset. I > > > found that sometimes a response wouldn't be necessary, as the > importance > > > was actually much lower than originally perceived, and I would be able > to > > > work "with", instead of "against", a given change. > > > > > > f. Be forgiving and accept different priorities. The other person is > not > > > out to get you or attack your work. More often than not, it is one of > the > > > above (a-d) that are failing, or that the other person prioritize some > > > aspect higher than you do. Sometimes, this requires compromises, > > sometimes > > > not and the different priorities can co-exist. > > > > > > > > > Most communities at Apache consists of level-headed, reasonable people, > > who > > > have a strong vested interest in its Apache project. This interest, > often > > > passion, is both the source of tension, but it is also what unites the > > > people within the community. It is easy to forget the vast amount of > > > agreement that exists, and get upset over relatively small > disagreements. > > > Ability to put that aside, or downplay the importance, will ensure a > > > harmonious project. > > > > > > Face-to-Face is excellent way to eliminate disagreements, but that is > > often > > > not practical. Consider Skype or Google Hangout, just for the social > > aspect > > > of being part of this community. It should not be formal, and the > > > invitation should go out to everyone, perhaps someone want to make a > > short > > > presentation of what he/she is doing, to have some "structure", but > that > > > might not be needed either. Once we have a face to the words, and a > > general > > > idea how that person is socially, we are much more capable to interact > by > > > email. > > > > > > > > > Cheers > > > -- > > > Niclas Hedhman, Software Developer > > > http://zest.apache.org - New Energy for Java > > > > > > -- > Niclas Hedhman, Software Developer > http://zest.apache.org - New Energy for Java >
