Russ Allbery writes ("Re: Being nice to introverts/the highly sensitive (was
Re: "Breaking Cliques at Events")"):
> I'm not sure I have any great or insightful advice, but I think being a
> bit cautious about the line between invitation and pushing is the most
> helpful thing other people can do. I'm pretty good about putting my foot
> down, and even still I feel a bit of pressure to go along with something
> people keep trying to get me to do. With more power differentials or
> someone who's less comfortable just saying no than I am, it's possible to
> push people into doing things they don't actually want to do when you only
> meant to be inviting and encouraging.
Thanks for writing this. Indeed.
> This is tricky, since there *are* some people who prefer some
> encouragement to make them feel welcomed, while other people find
> encouragement an unwelcome push that they have to use social spoons to
> navigate. I can't say there's any formula which is going to work for
> everyone, and I'm sure I err on the side of adjusting for people like me.
I think it is right to err on the side of believing what people say,
when they say they don't want to do something...
Ian.
[1]
http://rockstardinosaurpirateprincess.com/2015/03/02/consent-not-actually-that-complicated/
--
Ian Jackson <ijack...@chiark.greenend.org.uk> These opinions are my own.
If I emailed you from an address @fyvzl.net or @evade.org.uk, that is
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