trauma boss comes to group of people trauma boss: “I …” — he pauses, the programming from his past and future in conflict. he cries.
trauma boss: “It’s —!” he looks and gestures at others, a little as if reaching for something he completely lacks a numbness comes over part of his face. the conflict between the parts of him forced to be empathic and the parts of him forced to be horrific having splurted into amnesia and numbness, an emergent result that somehow seems to benefit both, or at least quiets the conflict the recovering victims know that splurt all to well. It had become their new reality, and they were there to learn to remember and experience anything else. parts of the older utopians, under their new mind control, felt that splurt, saw it clearly in suddenly relaxed facial muscles and suddenly dropped habits. these parts knew the pain they were seeing. they knew the pain in the newcomers that was far stronger. they held and valued these things in deep care, as they had been more and more for the years the newcomers had been here. this powerful trauma was like a giant tear and scream that had spread from trauma boss into everyone else in ways that defined everyone’s new reality. and these parts knew how to hold and value tears and screams. one of the utopians stepped forward in silence, to try to represent the powerful layers of meaning present in everybody there. a vivisectee looked at the utopian, who looked back at them directly, but humbly. trauma boss looked at the vivisectee. the vivisectee glanced at trauma boss, then at everyone else. vivisecteee: ‘he doesn’t know how to pay his taxes.’
