Looks awesome so far Zach! Thanks for going through this monumental rewrite!
On Wednesday, July 13, 2016 at 1:58:05 PM UTC-4, Zach Oakes wrote: > > TL;DR: Nightcode, a Clojure IDE, just got a makeover: > https://sekao.net/nightcode/ > > In a world...where developer tools are gargantuan beasts, unapproachable > to beginners, one IDE stood alone. > > *a fiddle softly plays ashokan farewell* > > “You’re not going already, are you, Nightcode?” > > “I must, father. So many new people are learning Clojure. They need me.” > > *music becomes ominous as Nightcode rides a wagon into the distance* > > Until one day, when it embarked on a journey to save the world...from > itself. > > *scene switches to Nightcode crouching in a fetal position in a dense > forest* > > “I’m hearing voices.” > > *heavy breathing* > > “STOP TALKING TO ME!” > > *one of those jumanji drums starts beating slowly and then gets faster and > louder* > > *the camera zooms in on Nightcode’s face as it suddenly smiles wryly* > > Things are about to get...complicated. > > *scene changes, a crowd gathers in a small village* > > “Gather ‘round! I’m making it easy to start coding!” > > “But Nightcode, those appear to be bugs!” > > “Wrong, ma’am, they are features! All of them!” > > “SILENCE!” > > *the crowd becomes mute as a hooded figure moves forward* > > “Enough of this madness, Nightcode. In three years your features have > remained dormant as your bug count has exploded! Meanwhile, people have > been using --” > > “Don’t listen to this fraud, you all need me!!!!” > > *Nightcode lifts its trench coat and releases a plague of bugs on the > village as it runs away* > > “I don’t want to crash but I will if I have to. I don’t want to crash but > I will if I have to. I don’t want to crash but I will if I have to. STOP > THE VOICES, MAKE IT STOP!” > > When your life is no longer your own... > > *screen dims, Nightcode runs into a forest as the village is ravaged* > > ...a hero must rise. > > *the hooded figure reveals himself* > > Meet...Kevin. > > *Kevin Hart smiles as upbeat music blares* > > “HEEEEEY Y’ALL THAT WAS CRAZY! I guess it’s a bad time to ask for a better > hotel. HAHA!” > > Kevin is just an average guy, with a few...friends. > > *the camera pans several feet up to reveal...Ice Cube and Dwayne Johnson* > > “This is gonna be bad, Cube.” > > “I know, man. How did we get stuck with this guy again?” > > A brave trio must save the world from Nightcode...by reinventing it. > > “Check it. Nightcode can’t be killed. We gotta find the good inside it and > rip it out!” > > “YEAH CUBE I AGREE. JUST LIKE YOU DID WITH YOUR CAREER!” > > *Cube slaps Hart and continues* > > “There’s only one way to do that. We gotta rewrite Nightcode.” > > “You mean like a sequel? Like we keep doing with Fast and the Furious? No > way.” > > “YEAH CUBE, JOEL SPOLSKY SAID YOU SHOULD NEVER --” > > “Dammit I KNOW what Joel Spolsky said, and I don’t care. You guys got any > better ideas?” > > *Hart and Johnson look at each other sheepishly* > > *scene switches to a workshop with maps and shit* > > “Nightcode is written with Swing, a deprecated UI framework. We’re gonna > replace it with Java FX. What do you got Rock?” > > “The editor. Right now it doesn’t offer much beyond syntax highlighting. > We’re gonna have to write something from scratch.” > > “AWW HELL YEAH, GONNA BE LIKE LIGHT TABLE HAD A BABY WITH CURSIVE, > HAHAAAAAA!” > > “What? No. Relax Kev. An instaREPL and some basic inline errors, that’s > all we have time for.” > > The trio will learn… > > *Hart looks in a mirror* > > “Oh hey Nightcode, what’s up? CAN YOU DEAL WITH THESE RAINBOW PARENS?! > Didn’t think so.” > > ...what it’s like… > > *Cube emerges from the workshop covered in oil* > > “We shrunk the damn jar file from 50 MB to just 19!” > > ...to overcome odds. > > “The new version has just 1600 lines of code, less than half what the old > one has. We may actually pull this off.” > > This summer, get ready… > > “WATCH ME MOVE. WATCH ME MOVE. WATCH ME -- hey man take it easy put that > down be cool.” > > ...for the rewrite… > > “I’m sick of these motherfuckin’ bugs, on this motherfuckin’ IDE!” > > ...of your life. > > “We’re gonna get this done or die tryin’. And Kevin IF YOU DON’T STOP > DANCING YOU’LL DIE NO MATTER WHAT.” > > *a door opens as the trio argue, music stops, and Nightcode’s silhouette > appears* > > “Game over, gents. How can you replace me? Beginners don’t know how to run > jar files.” > > “We built native installers, fool.” > > *explosions* > > NIGHTCODE 2 > > TOTAL REWRITE > > https://sekao.net/nightcode/ > -- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "Clojure" group. To post to this group, send email to clojure@googlegroups.com Note that posts from new members are moderated - please be patient with your first post. To unsubscribe from this group, send email to clojure+unsubscr...@googlegroups.com For more options, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/clojure?hl=en --- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "Clojure" group. To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to clojure+unsubscr...@googlegroups.com. For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/d/optout.
