On Wed, Nov 8, 2023 at 9:02 PM 4st nomic via agora-business < agora-busin...@agoranomic.org> wrote:
> And I'm a bit sensitive about it because I'm considering deregistering > again myself, and I'm just trying to collect evidence! That I apparently > need to prove I'm right. > > I'm also feeling generally othered by the game, like my ideas are extremely > consistently wrong, and I'm undeserving of any agoran rewards in any > fashion despite my efforts to the contrary. > > I'd Cantus cygnus if i didn't have a chance at one! Win, after years of > playing. Is that worth it to anyone? Not that Cantus cygnus actually > matters or are taken seriously, the Archives have shown that they're > somewhat of a joke or just for angrying about tech problems. > > I declare fucking apathy btw This sounds really rough. I want to try to engage with this on an emotional level, though it's hard to shift my mind into the right gear at the moment. I think part of that is my general emotional state, and part of it is Agora being Agora. Because like, it's tricky, in a game so focused on logic and rationality, to handle emotions correctly. That tends to lead to emotions building up to the point where they come out in violent bursts, which isn't exactly ideal - but it becomes necessary if that's the only way to engage with emotions in a space. It sounds like you're reaching that point, and I'm sorry about that. Cantus Cygnus is not just a mechanism for jokes. It is used for that purpose, yes, but it's also used as an outlet for venting and for getting some time away from the game. See, for instance, [1]. I'm by no means telling you to go that route - no one should have to deregister to get their concerns taken seriously. I just wanted to respond to your frustration about that topic. In general, I'd say that Agora tends towards extreme traditionalism. Major experiments are comparatively rare. People like things done "the right way". Interesting ideas are voted down simply because they might break something, or because people don't want change. At any given time, there are usually some people who are particularly stalwart about keeping things the way they are (which I think is mostly me and Janet at the moment), some people who are a little more open to potential changes, and some who are still skeptical but less vigorous about it, and some, like you, who are very experimental and eager about bringing in new ideas. Generally - in part because of cultural factors, in part because of things like the power structure making it hard to amend high powered rules - the traditionalists tend to have a substantial advantage. I worry that I'm making this about me, and also that this might not be helpful, but I thought I'd also give you a pointer to my own Cantus Cygnus [2]. It's another venty one, and it also goes a bit into some of the emotional drivers behind my own traditionalism in Agora - and about how I'm not sure if it's a good thing or not. It might help understand the "other side" a bit more? Though of course, I would never claim to speak for anyone other than myself, and a vent isn't necessarily going to be a complete explanation of even my own motivations. There's probably more to say - I can think of some things about what happened with the thesis, for instance. But I've gotta go right now. I just wanted to say something, because in my experience posting something like this and not having anyone reply sucks. I wish you well. Best of luck with the win attempt! [1] https://www.mail-archive.com/agora-business@agoranomic.org/msg28723.html [2] https://www.mail-archive.com/agora-business@agoranomic.org/msg42549.html -Aris
