I am looking for some help finding a proxy/load balancer that will work with spamc->group of spamd machines
Does anyone have any tips on what to use?
May I ask why you don't want to do a DNS based load balancing and spamc -H?
Quite frankly, it sounds like you're doing a lot of work trying to avoid using the simplest solution. There's got to be a reason why you want to avoid it, but it's not particularly clear why.