On 06/28/2012 04:31 PM, James Bradley wrote:
On 06/28/2012 03:57 PM, Brian Murray wrote:
On Wed, Jun 27, 2012 at 01:23:16PM -0700, James Bradley wrote:
Here's the latest iteration on the flyer project. At this point, unless
someone can provide more fodder for the verbiage or constructive ideas
about the layout, I'll just be making minor refinements from here on out.
Please take a moment to review the publication; Scribus doesn't have a
spell or grammar checker so be on the lookout for typos or things that
don't read right. Any feedback is welcome.
'remain committed to educating others' makes it sound like something
happened and commitment wavered which I don't think is the case. I'd
just go with 'are committed'.
'millions and millions' of people seems strange to me too. I think
millions gets the point across.
The mention of Debian will be confusing for people just reading about
Ubuntu for the first time.
I believe page one capitalize Open Source and page two does not.
There is a period after 'creative pursuits.' but the sentence carries
on. much like this one.
'hundreds of dollars just try something new' might be missing a 'to'.
I might stick the contact information on both sides as I personally
missed the url in the beginning and then at "the end" was wondering how
to contact the team.
Thanks it looks pretty neat!
--
Brian Murray
Good points, Brian.
The "remain" isn't mine; it's from existing materials. Ben, since
you're calling the shots, what do you think? If the point is to
underscore the commitment, perhaps the term "stand committed" would
serve better?
Sounds nice.
I struggled with the "millions and millions" myself, but just
"millions" seems too much an understatement, (and Carl Sagan said,
"billions and billions and billions"). How about "many millions",
(which might be construed as a overstatement, but what the heck)?
Many millions or untold millions?
I believe the proper name of the event does include "Debian".
Personally, I feel giving Debian some credit is a good move
politically. The front of the flyer does try to address a more
informed reader, while the back is more for the newcomer. But what is
the consensus?
I concur on giving credit while at the same time wonder if Debian names
off all upstream projects it benefits from? Do we potentially confuse
some or give credit where credit is due? Or perhaps I can make better
credit on the site and that could be sufficient since our hope is that
the reader will eventually visit the website and signup for our mailing
list etc. I wonder if slangasek has any feedback on this one.
"Open Source" on page two, now.
Preposition, "to", added to specified sentence.
Duplicated URL at end of "~ for Home" section.
Thanks, again, Brian.
JVLB
--
Benjamin Kerensa
http://benjaminkerensa.com
"I am what I am because of who we all are" - Ubuntu
--
Ubuntu-us-or mailing list
[email protected]
Modify settings or unsubscribe at:
https://lists.ubuntu.com/mailman/listinfo/ubuntu-us-or
