Ends up it was my mistake - I just figured this out 15 minutes ago.
I had a typo in /etc/nsswitch.conf:
I had: protocols: dbfiles
And should have had: protocols: db files
Once I added this space, munin started working.
** Changed in: munin (Ubuntu)
Status: Incomplete => Invalid
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munin-node fails to start: Can't connect to TCP port 4949 on * [Bad file
descriptor]
https://bugs.launchpad.net/bugs/254103
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