Hi Wendy, Thanks for your comments and feedback. I have just had a quick look at the pdf and think many of the changes you suggested are excellent, so I will go through and make some necessary alterations. There has been one major edit of the prologue so far but it is still a work in progress so we rely on people like yourself to provide us with helpful feedback such as this. I noticed your first comment about being verbose - on reading back through I do agree and will try and slim it down a little without losing any important content. Early sections like the prologue and first couple of chapters are likely to be where people start, so we need to get it right so we don't lose them!
Regarding your comments on "Is Ubuntu Right For You" - I think your insight here is great. However I will leave it up to Benjamin, the content writer for this chapter, to go back and make any changes to that bit based on your feedback. Ideally we need to get you up and running with bzr if you are not yet already. That will allow you to make minor changes to the source files as you go (e.g. fixing spelling/punctuation mistakes). Any bigger changes should be suggested to the allocated writer/editor for that chapter just like you have done now, and then collaborated on from there. We don't have a set protocol for doing this yet though, which is something we need. I'll have a think and also chat to Benjamin and anyone interested on the best way to do that so it's consistent across chapters. If you need a hand with bzr check out our wiki page under "Technical Help" or just ask one of us. Lastly, how would you feel about being the assigned editor for a chapter or two? You obviously have a lot of experience in this area and have given some great feedback already. We currently need an editor allocated to chapters 6 and 10. Basically being allocated to a chapter means you are responsible for liaising with the allocated writer for that chapter to ensure it gets completed and reviewed/edited thoroughly. You can still provide editing feedback on any of the other chapters such as you have done today - it's more so we have a point person for each chapter responsible for editing. Regards, JaminDay PS - You are correct, we are aiming for US English. However I'm from Australia and Benjamin from New Zealand, so it's highly likely there are words in the prologue we forgot to Americanize as we went! On Sun, Jan 31, 2010 at 9:54 AM, Wendy Sheridan < we...@sheridanmultimedia.com> wrote: > Hi, > I attached a truncated PDF (of mostly just the prolog - the Acrobat delete > pages function is acting strange with this file - something to do with the > Roman numerals and my counting skills apparently) with comments and > editorial suggestions for the prolog. I also fixed a lot of punctuation > errors (proper use of apostrophes go a long way towards meeting the > "professional" goal). > > My edits were mostly to change some word choices to American English (which > is what I know) - if those are not where you want to go, that's fine. I also > deleted things that looked like slang and tried to tighten up the language a > bit. > > The section "Is Ubuntu Right For You?" I think has some serious tone issues > - all it tells me is that it's not going to run any of the software that I > am used to and know and it seems to be actively dissuading me from wanting > to use it (trying to put my "target market" hat on for a moment). I would > strongly suggest shortening the negative bullet paragraphs, and don't snark > at people who (like me!) *like* Adobe software (and have invested quite a > bit of money in it in order to, for example, WORK to feed their family). For > EVERY negative, IMMEDIATELY follow it with a solution/positive. > > Something like: > > * You probably aren't going to be able to call on your local computer store > for help if you experience a problem. Luckily, because Ubuntu is > community-based, open source software, the Ubuntu community is available > on-line 24/7 and you will be able to find help and support from them (etc or > something like this) > > * Ubuntu doesn't run most (or all?) Windows-based commercial software. > However, the open-source community has created software that performs all > the common tasks and functions that you typically use (and list them, with > links to more info or downloads or whatever). > > * Ubuntu is also not a supported OS for many popular, commercially produced > games (yet). However, blah blah blah. > > And then you should list some more benefits for using Ubuntu. > > I have to get to some other things today so I can't do more right now. I > hope I haven't ruffled any feathers. I also know I'm probably not following > the right processes for this yet. Please bear with me as I figure out this > whole system. > > Best, > Wendy > > -- > Wendy > --- > wendyshandmade.etsy.com > www.wendysheridan.net > www.sheridanmultimedia.com > www.twitter.com/wendydesigns > > _______________________________________________ > Mailing list: https://launchpad.net/~ubuntu-manual > Post to : ubuntu-manual@lists.launchpad.net > Unsubscribe : https://launchpad.net/~ubuntu-manual > More help : https://help.launchpad.net/ListHelp > >
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