> OK, so I go to edit /etc/fstab. Whoops. It is read-only too! OK, 
> so I go to unmount / and mount rw. Except... yes, / cannot be 
> unmounted because it is busy! OK, so I go to use a livecd to 
> edit fstab to remove this fscking ro thing
A quick tip for you, since this bit you: you don't want to umount /.
That will do things like remove your access to the very program you need
to remount it rw: mount.  So, that bit actually saved you.  The option
you needed was:

# mount -o remount,rw /

This will remount it rw in place.  I have had to employ it in quite a
few similar "misbehaving drive" situations.

-- 
Temporary /tmp and /var/tmp
https://bugs.launchpad.net/bugs/18661
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