Sincerely, sending me to gnome.org's bug tracking (creating a login,
trying to understand wtf is going on) is as helpful as sending me to the
moon to fetch cheese.

I've done my part then - marked the bug at my distribution that seems to
put friendly media playback as a low priority.

"Hey mom, let me put Ubuntu on your pc"
"Thanks son"
"Hey, why is there no sound on the movie? The first part worked ok but the next 
part doesn't have sound?"
"Oh thats easy, mom. Just open and close it again".

-- 
No audio in playing a video the second time
https://bugs.launchpad.net/bugs/456016
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