I always wondered who makes the labels for sex lube.
On Wed, Aug 15, 2018, 12:00 AM Kevin M., <[email protected]> wrote: > Back when I was an NBC Page, Howie Mandel had his clone of Rosie > O’Donnell’s daytime talk show. I got along really well with nearly > everybody on the crew, the writers in particular. One day, while seating > the audience, I couldn’t help but notice it was not the usual “paid hobos” > as That Scottish Conan Guy used to refer to them. For reasons I could not > understand, the entire Portland Trailblazers Dancers crew was there to > attend a taping... a couple dozen NBA cheerleaders... and me. Upon learning > this, word came down from the writer’s room: If I could get the > cheerleaders into their room after the show, I’d be guaranteed a job. > > Granted, Howie’s show was not the best representation of the talents of > anyone involved; Howie wasn’t allowed to be Howie, and the writers weren’t > really allowed to produce any material that wasn’t in the style of what > Rosie would do (keep in mind she dominated daytime at that point). Guests > were rarely A-List. Along the way Howie did manage to find his own local > characters to regularly appear (think Mujibur and Sirajul), including an > elderly lady named Francis who ran what she called a “cake museum.” > Nevertheless, a job was a job (one was only allowed to be an NBC Page for a > year). I worked my magic (my magic involved a lot of pathetic begging) and > filled the writer’s room with cheerleaders. > > This was an absolute lock for me. Howie liked me. The writer’s liked me. > The talent department liked me. The announcer (aka the voice of The Brain) > liked me. I’d even appeared on camera on the show a couple times. What > could possibly go wrong? > > Enter Jeff Kopp. > > Kopp was the executive in charge of production for the studio that > financed the show. He was the money. He also, it turned out, had no sense > of humor and had no business being around the world of comedy. I see — > looking at his IMDB page — that he is now over at James Corden’s show. > Can’t say I’m surprised. > > A day or two after my hook up with the lovely ladies of the NBA, I was > stationed in the hallway between studio 1 (where Howie taped) and studio 3 > (where Jay Leno taped... and yes, they still used tape back then). My job > was basically to check names off a guest list for the Tonight Show. > Couldn’t be simpler. What could possibly go wrong? > > Enter Jeff Kopp. > > Kopp emerged from studio 1 and apropos of nothing, asked me who Jay’s > guests were that night. I don’t recall who specifically, but it was a night > of big named celebrities. Kopp nodded as I told him... and then it > happened... I opened my big, fat, gaping hole of a mouth. Couldn’t resist > it. Couldn’t help myself. Immediately after I’d told him whatever > supermodel or action film star was on, I added, “... but I’m sure that’s > only because Francis the cake lady was unavailable.” > > “You’re a smart-mouthed little shit,” I was rightly told by Mr. Kopp. > > I was not hired on Howie’s show. I don’t know if it was possible to be > fired when I was never actually hired, but however you want to define it, > one stupid comment by me derailed my career. I would go on to derail six or > seven different careers... and I ain’t done yet. > > I am sorry for your circumstances and hope they change for the better. I > spend my working days in the warehouse of a hot print shop making labels > mostly for manufacturers of sex lube. Workers of the world unite! > > On Tue, Aug 14, 2018 at 6:58 PM Doug Eastick <[email protected]> wrote: > >> The TIFU means "today I f'd up" >> >> >> >> >> >> TIFU by posting a pic to reddit and destroying my career >> >> Obligatory "this happened several months ago." >> >> For the past 20 years, basically right out of college, I worked in closed >> captioning and subtitling. This involves transcribing television programs >> and movies and timing the transcription to sync to the video. It's a lot of >> typing and even more watching a bizarrely varied amount of TV and film. >> >> I worked for several companies around the country. What started as a >> "just for now" job grew into a career, I became production director in a >> few organizations, and I became one of the fastest captioners in the >> country. When my company in New York City shut down, I found myself in >> possession of a very expensive piece of captioning software and a fair >> amount of clients, so I began working freelance. >> >> The clients began to dwindle as more and more work started going >> overseas, but I was working steadily based on one Huge Client that had >> robust Netflix, HBO, and Hulu contracts, and the rates they paid were >> ridiculously large. If you ever watched Chicago PD or Ray Donovan with the >> subtitles turned on, that was me. >> >> For the first time in my life, I was able to put money away for >> retirement, travel to Europe, go out to eat without checking my balance, >> never worry about the bank account running dry, all while working maybe 4 >> hours a day out of my bedroom walk-in closet. It was a magnificent few >> years. >> >> One day, I am captioning a Disney Channel cartoon that I had never seen >> before, and in one scene, a child is hanging his doodles in an art gallery. >> One of the doodles is of Trogdor the Burninator of Homestar Runner fame. >> "He lives on!" I think, and then, being a hopeless reddit addict, I post a >> screenshot to the Homestar sub and forget all about it. >> >> Fast forward three months when I get an email from Huge Client >> investigating a "very serious matter" in which a screenshot of a cartoon >> had been posted to reddit. Turns out, the cartoon had never aired before. >> Turns out, Disney was pissed. Turns out, the list of suspects that had >> access to the video was very short. >> >> I took immediate responsibility and profusely apologized, but the damage >> had been done. I had boneheadedly violated every nondisclosure and employee >> contract I'd signed with them by posting that single screenshot, and they >> terminated all future dealings with me, voided the $6,000 in invoices I had >> outstanding, and stated in very polite terms that I was lucky Disney wasn't >> suing my pasty white ass. >> >> After the fallout settled, I had no steady income. A few commercials and >> YouTube broadcasts that needed subtitles, but nothing reliable, and NYC >> rent drains bank accounts quickly. I reached out to every other captioning >> outfit in the country, but no luck. So, that left me at 40 with a >> staggeringly narrow and largely obsolete skill set forced to start over >> from square one. I am currently working for the Postal Service doing >> blue-collar work in 90-degree heat and mourning the days when watching TV >> in my jammies till 3 PM was my job. >> >> All gone because of a reddit post of a forgettable cartoon that only got >> a measly 150 updoots. >> >> TLDR: I violated the terms of an absurdly kushy job by posting to reddit, >> and now I deliver packages. >> >> >> https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/97a8in/tifu_by_posting_a_pic_to_reddit_and_destroying_my/ >> >> -- >> You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups >> "TVorNotTV" group. >> To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an >> email to [email protected]. >> For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/d/optout. > > >> -- > Kevin M. (RPCV) > > -- > You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups > "TVorNotTV" group. > To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an > email to [email protected]. > For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/d/optout. > -- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "TVorNotTV" group. To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to [email protected]. For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/d/optout.
