Cari, I was raped twice. Different guys, different countries, several years between an event and other.
I am a small cute girl, even acting like an old grumpy lady. Both were much bigger than me. I have some sad scars. One of them burned my body with cigarretes. I was a teenager. My tattoos hide part of my scars. The second rape was pretty disturbing because he was my friend and I was sleeping. This guy has his own scars and traums now. I have lovely long nails and I am not exactly a good person when defending my family and friends. Usually, I don't care so much about myself, but I was deeply in love with the sweetest man in the world and, in that moment, I remember I just wanted to live enough to tell him about my feelings. So I did everything I could to survive. I am still alive. I still love the sweetest man in the world, but now he doesn't love me anymore. It hurts much more than be raped, I swear. Well, just told you part of my past, because I know very well what means being a victim and feel despair. I know, in a very intense and deep way, what means to feel psychological and physical pain. Believe me, I had lovely experiences about harassment in different levels too. I tried suicide once, some months ago, because I just wanted to stop the pain. I just wanted to sleep again. After these experiences, I didn't learn how to hate men or cigarretes. I learned why I need to hate lies. Cecilia PS: - Sorry, I crying a lot and my English probably is a shame, but if I try to correct the mistakes, I am sure I won't send this message anymore. On Jun 7, 2016 10:05 AM, "Cari Machet" <[email protected]> wrote: > all this shit talk on here is like why people dont come forward when raped > > there was a suspension after tor received info about harassment before > (hint: that matters) and as i said the organization was not dealing with > this in any concrete way as they are now setting up protocol > > On Tue, Jun 7, 2016 at 3:56 PM, Cari Machet <[email protected]> wrote: > > > not friendly cant read and doesnt know who andy greenberg is? > > > > On Tue, Jun 7, 2016 at 3:41 AM, Not Friendly <[email protected]> > > wrote: > > > >> It's really bad now that the media took notice. This whole thing started > >> as a small memo on a mailing list. And now it blows into some big media > >> story. Jacob never had a chance to explain before the media started > writing > >> as many articles as possible. The writers of this article didn't even > >> attempt to contact Jacob himself but rather simply the site owners. If > your > >> going to present your self as a "reputable media outlet" then write > about > >> both sides of the story. > >> > >> -- > >> Not Friendly > >> > >> > On Jun 6, 2016, at 8:09 PM, ja.talk <[email protected]> wrote: > >> > > >> > > >> > https://www.wired.com/2016/06/tor-developer-jacob-appelbaum-resigns-amid-sex-abuse-claims/ > >> > > >> > Andy Greenberg > >> > > >> > Tor Developer Jacob Appelbaum Resigns Amid Sex Abuse Claims > >> > > >> > Jacob Appelbaum has courted controversy throughout his career as a > >> privacy and transparency activist, picking fights with several of the > >> world’s most powerful government agencies over surveillance and state > >> secrecy. Now he’s at the center of an entirely different sort of > >> controversy: accused of rampant sexual and emotional abuse. > >> > > >> > On Saturday, the privacy-focused non-profit Tor Project where > Appelbaum > >> held a position as a developer and activist released a statement > explaining > >> that Appelbaum had resigned from his position with the group as a > result of > >> a series of “serious, public allegations of sexual mistreatment” made by > >> unnamed victims against 33-year-old Appelbaum. An anonymous website > >> collecting testimonials from those alleged victims published the same > day, > >> with five victims detailing claims that range from uninvited groping and > >> kissing to rape. > >> > > >> > On Monday morning, Appelbaum responded to the accusations in a > >> statement, calling them “a calculated and targeted attack [that] has > been > >> launched to spread vicious and spurious allegations against me.” He > added, > >> “I want to be clear: the accusations of criminal sexual misconduct > against > >> me are entirely false.” His publicist Claudia Tomassini responded to > >> WIRED’s request for comment from Appelbaum to say that his “legal team > is > >> working on an injunction against these monstrous and factually incorrect > >> accusations.” > >> > > >> > WIRED couldn’t independently verify the stories on the website created > >> by Appelbaum’s accusers, who used pseudonyms, nor determine the creator > of > >> the site itself. But Andrea Shepard, a Berlin-based developer co-worker > of > >> Appelbaum’s at the Tor Project, says the site was created by a “longtime > >> member of the Tor community” whom she knows and trusts. Shepard also > says > >> she’s spoken directly with one of Appelbaum’s alleged victims, who told > >> Shepard in February of this year that Appelbaum had raped him or her. > >> “Sadly…I think it’s the damn truth. He’s a charismatic, socially > dominant > >> manipulator,” Shepard writes to WIRED. “I absolutely believe the > accusers.” > >> > > >> > Shepard says that Tor’s management had suspected Appelbaum of sexual > >> misconduct for months. And the revelation of another alleged victim in > >> recent weeks had accelerated calls to force his resignation from the > >> organization, a push led by Tor’s executive Director Shari Steele. The > Tor > >> Project’s statement, written by Steele herself, echoed that timeline. > >> “These types of allegations were not entirely new to everybody at Tor; > they > >> were consistent with rumors some of us had been hearing for some time. > That > >> said, the most recent allegations are much more serious and concrete > than > >> anything we had heard previously,” Steele writes. “We are deeply > troubled > >> by these accounts.” > >> > > >> > Hacker Elite > >> > > >> > For years, Appelbaum has held near-rockstar status within the hacker > >> community. In 2010 he keynoted the HOPE hacker conference, outing > himself > >> as a collaborator with WikiLeaks—its only publicly known American > >> staffer—just as it was ramping up its record-breaking Pentagon and State > >> Department leaks. (A Rolling Stone magazine profile a couple of months > >> later called him “the most dangerous man in cyberspace.”) > >> > > >> > Likely as a result of his WikiLeaks work, Google and his internet > >> service provider Sonic.net received court orders demanding Appelbaum’s > >> communications as part of a grand jury investigation in 2011. Appelbaum > >> wasn’t indicted, but has said that he was repeatedly harassed and > detained > >> at U.S. border crossings by agents of the Department of Homeland > Security’s > >> Customs and Border Protection. To avoid run-ins with the American > >> government, he moved to Berlin. As a hacker exile he’s continued to work > >> for Tor and also contributed to the analysis and publication of NSA > leaker > >> Edward Snowden’s classified documents, as well as other surveillance > >> investigations in the German newspaper Der Spiegel.1 > >> > > >> > But Shepard, who also lives in Berlin, says she could see a pattern of > >> troubling behavior that led her to distance herself from Appelbaum. In > >> 2013, she recalls, Appelbaum told Shepard in a bar in front of another > >> colleague that he was going to have sex with her, using a misogynistic > >> phrase. In late 2014, she says he aggressively snatched a phone out of > her > >> hands at a hacker conference. And in the spring of last year she says he > >> was suspended from his position at Tor for two weeks without pay due to > a > >> harassment incident. > >> > > >> > A Familiar Pattern > >> > > >> > The scandal’s implications could go well beyond the Tor Project, which > >> maintains the highly-regarded Tor anonymity software. It also highlights > >> the broader hacker community’s long-running problem with sexism and > sexual > >> harassment. The notion, as Tor’s executive director Steele wrote, that > >> rumors about Appelbaum weren’t new but had been ignored, portrays a > >> community that turns a blind eye to the inequality or even mistreatment > of > >> women. As University of Pennsylvania’s well-known computer security > >> professor Matt Blaze wrote on Twitter, “our community (larger than Tor) > >> failed badly here.” > >> > > >> > Tor’s executive director Steele, meanwhile, urged in her note about > >> Appelbaum that anyone who thinks they may be a victim of criminal > behavior > >> should talk to law enforcement. “Going forward, we want the Tor > community > >> to be a place where all participants can feel safe and supported in > their > >> work,” she added. “We are committed to doing better in the future.” > >> > > >> > 1Correction 6/6/2016 9:55am EST: An earlier version of the story said > >> that Google and Sonic.net were subpoenaed for Appelbaum’s data in 2011, > >> when in fact they received a 2703(d) court order. > >> > -- > >> > tor-talk mailing list - [email protected] > >> > To unsubscribe or change other settings go to > >> > https://lists.torproject.org/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/tor-talk > >> > >> -- > >> tor-talk mailing list - [email protected] > >> To unsubscribe or change other settings go to > >> https://lists.torproject.org/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/tor-talk > >> > > > > > > > > -- > > Cari Machet > > NYC 646-436-7795 > > [email protected] > > AIM carismachet > > Syria +963-099 277 3243 > > Amman +962 077 636 9407 > > Berlin +49 152 11779219 > > Reykjavik +354 894 8650 > > Twitter: @carimachet <https://twitter.com/carimachet> > > > > 7035 690E 5E47 41D4 B0E5 B3D1 AF90 49D6 BE09 2187 > > > > Ruh-roh, this is now necessary: This email is intended only for the > > addressee(s) and may contain confidential information. If you are not the > > intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any use of this > > information, dissemination, distribution, or copying of this email > without > > permission is strictly prohibited. > > > > > > > > > -- > Cari Machet > NYC 646-436-7795 > [email protected] > AIM carismachet > Syria +963-099 277 3243 > Amman +962 077 636 9407 > Berlin +49 152 11779219 > Reykjavik +354 894 8650 > Twitter: @carimachet <https://twitter.com/carimachet> > > 7035 690E 5E47 41D4 B0E5 B3D1 AF90 49D6 BE09 2187 > > Ruh-roh, this is now necessary: This email is intended only for the > addressee(s) and may contain confidential information. If you are not the > intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any use of this > information, dissemination, distribution, or copying of this email without > permission is strictly prohibited. > -- > tor-talk mailing list - [email protected] > To unsubscribe or change other settings go to > https://lists.torproject.org/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/tor-talk > -- tor-talk mailing list - [email protected] To unsubscribe or change other settings go to https://lists.torproject.org/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/tor-talk
