By using spamass-milter you have the option of rejecting the message before reception completes. This way, the spammer knows that you have rejected his message and that you have not received it.
Nope, he probably won't. You probably got the message from an open relay using a forged reply address, and the refusal will go back to some innocent third party. My mailbox is clogged with bogus spam bounces.
My next step, after I get everything tuned the way I want, is to set a 30 second delay on the reject, thus tying up his resources. Then the final step is to change the 500 series reject code to a 400 series code so he ends up retrying with all those delays.
<http://projects.puremagic.com/greylisting/>
There's a Perl binary that plugs into the sendmail milter interface and uses MySQL to maintain the list of pending retries.
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