Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

Seconding splitwise, it's really great but lately has begun to do some nonsense about limiting the number of expenses you can add in a day etc because it wants you to pay for premium Cordially, Ameya Nagarajan (she/her) On Wed, 15 Jan 2025 at 10:36, Udha

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

On Wed, Jan 15, 2025 at 8:26 AM Charles Haynes wrote: Unsurprisingly there's an app for that. We use "Splitwise" Let's you put in > who paid what who owes what and accumulate it till you want to settle. > Allows you to split evenly, by percentages, you name it. > Somewhere in the first screen of

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

After going through the latest Twitter debate and this email thread, my summary is: How a person reacts to bill splitting is more about themselves than how the bill is being split. On Wed, Jan 15, 2025, 08:27 Charles Haynes via Silklist < silklist@lists.digeratus.in> wrote: > Unsurprisingly ther

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

Unsurprisingly there's an app for that. We use "Splitwise" Let's you put in who paid what who owes what and accumulate it till you want to settle. Allows you to split evenly, by percentages, you name it. -- Charles On Wed, 15 Jan 2025, 9:18 am Udhay Shankar N via Silklist, < silklist@lists.digera

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

Huh, that's interesting... I hadn't thought of it, but I have done something similar with a group that occasionally travels together. Somewhere between 6 and 10 people share a house, share groceries and some meals out - even splits for those who participated. This has been going on since before

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

I use something similar for safari trips that include airfare, hotel, food, taxi and safaris. I think it's an overkill for a lunch/dinner meeting with friends. Not enough ROI (of time and effort). On Wed, Jan 15, 2025, 7:47 AM Udhay Shankar N via Silklist < silklist@lists.digeratus.in> wrote: > (

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

(leaving the earlier message below for context) This approach to splitting the bill (and many hairs) is interesting, although I don't know if I would take the effort. https://x.com/itspsneha/status/1878676557952381309 Thoughts? Udhay On Thu, Jan 25, 2024 at 9:15 AM Udhay Shankar N wrote: > >

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

I guess an analog is tu in Hindi which I can never bring myself to use with domestic workers, sticking to the formal form. But we had one once who told me she felt I was alienating her by using the formal form (which I code as respect) and she wanted me to go with tu, which is the most familiar, an

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

On Wed, May 29, 2024 at 6:26 PM Dave Long via Silklist < silklist@lists.digeratus.in> wrote: > One of my chefy friends had a great rule about who she voluntarily eats > food with - it is people she wouldn't mind exchanging bodily fluids with > > On the other side of this, I often have to decide, w

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

> student and senior discounts Thinking about this a little more, I don't know to what extent the आश्रम system may have an analog in Dravidian practices, but student and senior discounts map well to a four-fold partition of life stages: student/householder/senior/ascetic. (the householder offer

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

I never skip these things - even though sometimes the inner cringe is strong, to be potentially viewed as impecunious. Or miserly. It’s an interesting people filter to have and I laugh at my predicament openly. Interestingly enough, most of my friends who make easily 10x more than I did ( I’m in a

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

> One of my chefy friends had a great rule about who she voluntarily eats food > with - it is people she wouldn't mind exchanging bodily fluids with On the other side of this, I often have to decide, when relating anecdotes, whether to label someone a "friend" or a "colleague", and generally mak

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

On 29/05/2024 11:49, Udhay Shankar N via Silklist wrote: On Wed, May 29, 2024 at 2:50 PM Manar Hussain via Silklist wrote: I generally argue for, not against, even bill splitting but I try to be sensitive about letting anyone who might not be Ok with that having a safe space to

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

On Wed, May 29, 2024 at 4:23 PM Suresh Ramasubramanian via Silklist < silklist@lists.digeratus.in> wrote: In all such cases with our friends meetups, we’d typically decide to eat at > a cheaper joint (Irani / Udupi etc hotel) that’d fit the friend’s pocket, > or just tacitly pick up the friend’s b

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

likely to be arguments over any sort of split, equitable or not. From: Silklist on behalf of Ameya Nagarajan via Silklist Date: Wednesday, 29 May 2024 at 4:10 PM To: Intelligent conversation Cc: Ameya Nagarajan Subject: Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill Yeah I've been the one earning a fracti

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

> make sure it's not socially awkward for anybody who wants to just pay for > what they ate to do so In Switzerland, it's common for waitstaff to go around with the final tab; each subset of diners says what they ordered and the waiter then checks it off the bill and lets them know their subtot

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

On Wed, May 29, 2024 at 2:50 PM Manar Hussain via Silklist < silklist@lists.digeratus.in> wrote: I generally argue for, not against, even bill splitting but I try to be > sensitive about letting anyone who might not be Ok with that having a > safe space to say so. > This is exactly my problem sta

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

Yeah I've been the one earning a fraction of the others for years so I would often just have to skip things because I couldn't afford it. Cordially, Ameya Nagarajan (she/her) On Wed, 29 May 2024 at 14:21, Alaric Snell-Pym via Silklist < silklist@lists.di

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

On 29/05/2024 09:50, Alaric Snell-Pym via Silklist wrote: On 28/05/2024 18:55, Suresh Ramasubramanian via Silklist wrote: I and four of my old school friends just had a longish dinner with drinks (beer or juices) and just split the bill five ways.  It gets to be fun when people agonise over the

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

On 28/05/2024 18:55, Suresh Ramasubramanian via Silklist wrote: I and four of my old school friends just had a longish dinner with drinks (beer or juices) and just split the bill five ways. It gets to be fun when people agonise over the split so much. If you end up a bit short in one dinner i

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

From: Silklist on behalf of Yeddanapudi Radhika via Silklist Sent: Tuesday, May 28, 2024 11:06:23 PM To: Intelligent conversation Cc: Yeddanapudi Radhika Subject: Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill Reading up on "threat model" now. Thank you! El lun., 27 may. 2024 8:36 p. m., Udhay

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

Reading up on "threat model" now. Thank you! El lun., 27 may. 2024 8:36 p. m., Udhay Shankar N via Silklist < silklist@lists.digeratus.in> escribió: > On 28-05-2024 08:56, Yeddanapudi Radhika wrote: > > I must confess that I will likely carry cash as I am very paranoid and do > not transact on th

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

On Tue, May 28, 2024 at 8:05 AM Udhay Shankar N via Silklist < silklist@lists.digeratus.in> wrote: > An interesting take (intended for a USAnian audience, but the message > translates well, and Venmo can easily be replaced with e.g GPay.) > > > https://slate.com/human-interest/2023/02/venmo-app-gu

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

On 28-05-2024 08:56, Yeddanapudi Radhika wrote: I must confess that I will likely carry cash as I am very paranoid and do not transact on the phone. Usually I get home and do it on my comp. Paranoid is generally a good thing. Especially in the context of a structured threat model

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

I must confess that I will likely carry cash as I am very paranoid and do not transact on the phone. Usually I get home and do it on my comp. El lun., 27 may. 2024 7:36 p. m., Udhay Shankar N via Silklist < silklist@lists.digeratus.in> escribió: > On 25-01-2024 09:15, Udhay Shankar N via Silklist

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

On 25-01-2024 09:15, Udhay Shankar N via Silklist wrote: https://www.businessinsider.in/policy/economy/news/splitting-the-check-is-no-longer-restaurant-etiquette-in-2024-its-every-diner-for-themself/articleshow/107123596.cms An interesting take (intended for a USAnian audience, but the message

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

Yeah I hear you Pranesh. It's all part of the guessing whether people really mean what they say part of society and of course saying things you don't mean to be "polite". I realised at some point that if they keep offering when they don't want to that's a them problem, because I'm not forcing it on

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

Hi, Pranesh, I'm with you on this. I work as a translator in Canada and my husband is a landscape architect (ergo non-IT salaries). We face this situation all the time when I get together with friends either here or India. In Canada, we eat at home almost 95% of the time for a variety of reasons:

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

On Tue, 30 Jan 2024 at 17:56, Ameya Nagarajan via Silklist < silklist@lists.digeratus.in> wrote: > I do think we need to let go of this everyone is trying to take advantage > mindset... And also learn to receive. So I'm glad I was able to do both > I've not always found that to be easy. Earlier

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

I've greatly enjoyed this tangent! Back to payment things, as someone who made a fraction of what her peers did for many many years (until 2023), I've always tried to pay it forward because many of my friends have bought me drinks and dinners and whatnot. As a vegetarian I've been shafted in India

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

On Sun, 28 Jan 2024 at 13:11, Jeremy Bornstein wrote: > Oops; I knew there was something wrong with my math. If the proposal is to > pay $1 for an 80% chance of winning $2 and a 20% chance of not getting any > money back, the EV of that bet is actually $1.60. Right? > Right. EV is the sum of the

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

Oops; I knew there was something wrong with my math. If the proposal is to pay $1 for an 80% chance of winning $2 and a 20% chance of not getting any money back, the EV of that bet is actually $1.60. Right? On Sun, 2024-01-28 at 10:58 +1100, Jeremy Bornstein via Silklist wrote: > I agree that if

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

I was thinking about this discussion, oddly enough, in the shower this morning when the water started to get a little cold. I realized that this question is much more complicated for me than setting a simple monetary value for me to undertake an unpleasant-but- not-actually-harmful activity. Here'

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

I agree that if you take a bet at fair odds you are purchasing variance. I think Charles' explanation below doesn't make it clear that the reason that the bet happens is because there is a disagreement about what fair odds are, which could happen because one party is misinformed about or ignorant o

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

Somehow I never saw Jeremy's message that you replied to. Hm... Jeremy - feel free! It can be fun :) Though I am a degenerate gambler. I once made the apparently outrageous statement that most gambling was a way to purchase variance, and that like most markets you should figure out how much you w

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

There are a few ways to set a betting line. The two most common in this case are "over/under" where you disagree about the likelihood of some value - a typical example would be the value of bitcoin on some date. One of you picks a value they think is 50/50, and the other can bet that the value will

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

This triggered an interesting memory, which I never really considered "betting behavior" but is similar: someone long ago would challenge strongly voiced opinions with "huh, would you bet your car on that?" And I used to have some friends with whom I kept a running tally of nickel bets. Neit

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

Hearing this makes me want to take more extreme opinions around you. On Sat, 2024-01-27 at 12:44 +1300, Charles Haynes wrote: > One other way that economics (and specifically behavioural economics) > has  changed my way of looking at the world is that I'm now  more > aware of my own paradoxical b

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

I'm definitely influenced by the endowment effect when it comes to hoarding books on my shelf and there is definitely loss aversion in this context. I'm wondering if the sunk cost fallacy explains why I cling on to my place even though it's costing me an arm and a leg to retain it although there ar

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

One other way that economics (and specifically behavioural economics) has changed my way of looking at the world is that I'm now more aware of my own paradoxical behaviours. Like the endowment effect and the sunk cost fallacy. I have also found one tool to be particularly valuable and that's the n

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

I would definitely do this for USD $500/day. For one, I am convinced that it's in the realm of things that I (and most people) would get used to quickly enough for the unpleasant aspects to fade to tolerability or even pleasure. Also, I may have some minor masochistic tendencies... but not enough o

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

-- Silklist mailing list Silklist@lists.digeratus.in https://mailman.panix.com/listinfo.cgi/silklist

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

“I'm glad it's working for you - how much money would it take to get you to go to the gym and do strength training three times a week? :)” I boulder 3x a week and do weight training twice a week and flexibility once a week. My cardio suffers but I intend to swim to rectify that :) Same - I wouldn

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

On Fri, 26 Jan 2024 at 22:17, Huda Masood wrote: > Can you convince yourself that you receive 500 dollars worth of health, > motivation and resilience benefits to withstand 180 seconds of 12-15 > centigrade water every. Single. Day. for a week? > Could I? Certainly. But I've looked into the pur

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

-- Silklist mailing list Silklist@lists.digeratus.in https://mailman.panix.com/listinfo.cgi/silklist

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

Almost (?) the same thing, but I actually pay for the privilege of cold soaks in Japanese/Korean spa centres. Quite tempted to save myself some money by procuring a large enough receptacle in which I can sit, that can be filled with ice water. Jules On Fri, 26 Jan 2024 at 17:18, Huda Masood via S

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

Clearly I cannot afford this but I still want to test the longevity/sustainability of this decision - that USD 500 is enough. Can you convince yourself that you receive 500 dollars worth of health, motivation and resilience benefits to withstand 180 seconds of 12-15 centigrade water every. Single.

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

I've been taking tepid showers for close to 2 years now but what I find an absolute blast is swimming in the cold waters of the Pacific near Canada. Both invigorating and tiring. About dropping a $100 bill it isn't impossible now and then but the incentive needs to be strong: recently my mother's

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

I would do the shower thing for somewhere between USD$100 and USD$500 per day. ($100 is probably not enough, $500 definitely is.) One learning about money is that looking at investments daily makes me unhappy and that for me the "asymmetry of happiness" is real - that losing $100 makes me more unh

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

Tell me then, in what other areas of your life have you applied the new learnings with money? I find the human relationship with money extraordinarily interesting. My current social experiment is asking how much could I pay them to take a 3 minute cold shower every day, for a whole year. No hot wa

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

On 1/24/24 10:16 PM, Udhay Shankar N via Silklist wrote: Very interesting thought. The most thought-provoking part is "changing your mental model" which resonated with me, because the mental model which causes this to be an issue in the first place is "Am I being taken advantage of?" (which is

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

> There have also been occasions, such as with a particular member of this > list, where he unilaterally decided to contribute an amount that was > significantly more than the even split per head because he felt his share > was more (actually, he usually contributed more than his share). This is >

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

On Thu, Jan 25, 2024 at 4:13 PM Peter Griffin via Silklist < silklist@lists.digeratus.in> wrote: Aside from the liquor issue, there is also the thing that (at least in > India) meat dishes tend to cost more than than no-meat options. A > vegetarian (and non-drinker) friend has begun refusing night

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

On Thu, Jan 25, 2024, 09:16 Udhay Shankar N via Silklist < silklist@lists.digeratus.in> wrote: > > > 3. Liquor is where this model faces challenges. A teetotaller (or even a > beer drinker, such as myself) might feel hard done by, if asked, on a > regular basis, to partly subsidize someone orderin

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

I remember the Thursday group from 2004. It was, privileged, to say the least. Not a fan. The misogyny was palpable, locker room sentiment dressed nicely with single malt whiskey. Different groups of friends but pretty much the same model with the split - Those who drank alcohol - alcohol bill spl

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

Varies by group. I am also someone who is happy to pay the bill that day and do the math next morning (when I am sober, LOL) and message in some common group chat what each person's share is. I think the right time to get consensus on the modality is 5 min BEFORE the bill is asked for. People hav

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

I really love the idea of throwing 20 dollar bills...and losing the nagging suspicion of being bilked by friends. This year though, after 3 trips to India on my dollar, I'm feeling very stingy. No coffees outside for one year, haha and dining out only once a month. Or inviting people home! El mié

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

Nice post. Did not expect to read about Elinor Ostrom's work in this context, but it makes sense! On Thu, Jan 25, 2024 at 10:17 AM Nandkumar Saravade via Silklist < silklist@lists.digeratus.in> wrote: > My take on the free-rider problem :-) > > linkedin.com >

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

On Thu, Jan 25, 2024 at 10:27 AM Christopher A Kantarjiev via Silklist < silklist@lists.digeratus.in> wrote: After much faffing about at the beginning, the rule became "throw twenty > dollar bills at the bill until it goes away!". The finer print: if you feel > like you paid too much last week, be

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

"From each according to their ability" plus a bit of distributed planning. What are you, some kind of socialist? I remember that. I like how well it worked. Among a different group of my friends (degenerate gamblers) we play a different game. It works out the same as splitting the bill evenly bu

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

An astonishingly number of years ago (before I met Udhay!), I was part of a group that met at the same venue for lunch every Thursday. At least one other silklister was part of this group, from time to time. The venue was always the same, but the people who attended came and go. Alcohol was in

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

My take on the free-rider problem :-)linkedin.comOn 25-Jan-2024, at 10:10 AM, Nishant Shah via Silklist wrote:-- Silklist mailing list Silklist@lists.digeratus.in https://mailman.panix.com/listinfo.cgi/silklist

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

The Dutch seem to have really sorted this situation out. The most popular and used app on both Apple and Android stores is Tikkie - or other banks' equivalent of it. One person foots the bill, and everybody keeps track of what they ate, and then pay accordingly. It is interesting that the responsib

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

On Thu, 25 Jan, 2024, 09:16 Udhay Shankar N via Silklist, < silklist@lists.digeratus.in> wrote: > > This is a topic that comes up every now and again. Speaking as someone who > regularly organizes group meetups, > > 1. We usually split the bill evenly, because (at least as far as food is > concern

Re: [Silk] Splitting the bill

Yes, I agree this is a hard problem for organisers. One option is to bill the food and alcohol separately, some restaurants do this anyways Also I find that restaurants today are fine with separate bills. One plus point is that it discourages the freeloaders who are otherwise skilled at making t

[Silk] Splitting the bill

This is a topic that comes up every now and again. Speaking as someone who regularly organizes group meetups, 1. We usually split the bill evenly, because (at least as far as food is concerned) the entire table ends up sampling whatever is ordered. 2. The people I tend to meet with tend to order t