Ok, apparently I should have just been googling a bit more before posting here; anyway, should someone have the same issue, here's how I solved it.
As Dima pointed out, the package sagemath-upstream-binary in the PPA is currently broken; for some weird reason however installing sagemath-upstream-binary-full seems to work flawlessly. It is 1 gigabyte bigger, but it works. If you are easily bothered by teeny tiny pointless details like me, you'll notice that it shows no icon in the Applications menu; just open ~/.local/share/applications/sagemath.desktop and change the icon line to Icon=/usr/lib/sagemath/local/lib/python/site-packages/sagenb-0.11.6.1-py2. 7.egg/sagenb/data/sage/images/icon128x128.png since the previous value points to an empty folder -- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "sage-support" group. To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to sage-support+unsubscr...@googlegroups.com. To post to this group, send email to sage-support@googlegroups.com. Visit this group at https://groups.google.com/group/sage-support. For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/d/optout.