Thanks for the review, Lars. Notes below... > -----Original Message----- > From: Lars Eggert via Datatracker <nore...@ietf.org> > Sent: Tuesday, October 3, 2023 3:08 AM > To: The IESG <i...@ietf.org> > Cc: draft-ietf-regext-rdap-ope...@ietf.org; regext-cha...@ietf.org; > regext@ietf.org; AlBanna, Zaid <zalba...@verisign.com>; AlBanna, Zaid > <zalba...@verisign.com> > Subject: [EXTERNAL] Lars Eggert's No Objection on draft-ietf-regext-rdap- > openid-25: (with COMMENT) > > Caution: This email originated from outside the organization. Do not click > links > or open attachments unless you recognize the sender and know the content > is safe. > > Lars Eggert has entered the following ballot position for > draft-ietf-regext-rdap-openid-25: No Objection > > When responding, please keep the subject line intact and reply to all email > addresses included in the To and CC lines. (Feel free to cut this > introductory > paragraph, however.) > > > Please refer to https://secure- > web.cisco.com/12q4iamYo5UulSDBPFzWZOD3tmtSmN_bnVvofHt4zYNLnagQ > 3qKEwv-kb4IlNRTSj22JBZooKhD_CdlmPXcsX93RRNbMKngz_Uck- > 2Eb6xD0Xe6NW942qYlWcHpg72nMk4t13cQCGFrqVOEAeUnrqZkGoufM9hyIS > hnqmNO_77n4dMbPhnOogqitjbJ8g2usUoNXyYu0GOO9VLcrC1pKIAWimLCnS > 8YLewOSU- > s6e2mkjsJyJkCco3IxES0K8suIFbvoj_XqE1Qpwbg8rnyqOty9ZzSzhlfNJDrbJk15 > MX9xY7UfvTpVbvehowTus- > SRG/https%3A%2F%2Fwww.ietf.org%2Fabout%2Fgroups%2Fiesg%2Fstatem > ents%2Fhandling-ballot-positions%2F > for more information about how to handle DISCUSS and COMMENT > positions. > > > The document, along with other ballot positions, can be found here: > https://secure-web.cisco.com/1- > 6L7mdh_i6ZPQgUz3XmTPbBnfrHLMYYbguZNvkioebTTSVjX_Y0xIaSW_KmQdA > lT44OotsvPcw7ARJ0y3svPoi02c_DyQMVM0aT19RpTJCnkkFOQcNB6SqKVc0JIy > 5IcOfChrCFknSxVlzhPd1TsZIWj3FQ2tPn2gxrfoW0Yog4mu7ay5_tdkqb4LUQ7oi > TQEBhRf0guUNC-sSvAkGlMUwqXjNUXJ6kwpexCw- > DCypMqxT5BXcEbTYW2VSjlbFKVRqSXyqVFQAd- > JuH5fsJdOfLJsq7hWbTZCvXp48W1LIz7U2zsDOcOU5wxTVJ3_58e/https%3A% > 2F%2Fdatatracker.ietf.org%2Fdoc%2Fdraft-ietf-regext-rdap-openid%2F > > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > COMMENT: > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > > # GEN AD review of draft-ietf-regext-rdap-openid-25 > > CC @larseggert > > Thanks to Meral Shirazipour for the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) > review > (https://secure- > web.cisco.com/1sxtsJUBaW67HuuSRNxGXb9YdjRMt2qOT0VGMxl3a61p- > 8ktpRfvOdL65w- > vkxXI1wgInedrpIbKudx5wD2b1znhf9yZMVE1dABgUoHYL7xXywtm9R7LTibICZ > xuTKzZ3OQz_fdJLCJjDHFLwkv29l- > aQquKR7J1VkCU22uN0_5AV6TnoXfY9z5nmnkn7mmfbyrx9baFmS88GNalCps > qRyhXp278C8PIIX- > xVlUW6XaVzQZsnaeCTq5qRUyaf_jXfBRa3Qr6jAuv4r4HRWPtsbivHNCdIIRpM > BZmDOARE3RiuWtitOFuXqAOkqznVo1IC/https%3A%2F%2Fmailarchive.ietf.o > rg%2Farch%2Fmsg%2Fgen-art%2FmS2UefXapDTAjcRYHkcT0-sP7WY). > > ## Comments > > ### Section 1.2, paragraph 0 > ``` > 1.2. Proposal > ``` > Should this section be re-titled now this is being published as an RFC?
[SAH] Perhaps. "Approach" could also work. > ### Inclusive language > > Found terminology that should be reviewed for inclusivity; see > https://secure- > web.cisco.com/1bhpLtafxmIVE415rxQig3A9LH1atAWZCqUYFb6YyHRxIn_5gt1 > O_eJonXXO- > Ldhrdxtk58KxG6PsZi6sO3eG1EAxaBOI3_pvUz8GH0s6h54I7O2q7KF8Pefmx3Iz > FpWL_I4Z-tgz- > 5XAUs92FrWhobK3eOjKojgwAtMMkWWWZrEcKDLkrap7KtvN1NF3zZdq9NA > W_wceXI_qPivUXrx_6CgXZTeTUs0hHhig- > _vW0E0g1qO5k23jsTk5gTvuJTmFTfzWF42KefZ8Weg2QFnLLjWAXFFOEuaie6_i > _hi5-6t-Mlru4JfPmnuUEDa6EKJT/https%3A%2F%2Fwww.rfc- > editor.org%2Fpart2%2F%23inclusive_language for background and more > guidance: > > * Term `traditional`; alternatives might be `classic`, `classical`, > `common`, > `conventional`, `customary`, `fixed`, `habitual`, `historic`, > `long-established`, `popular`, `prescribed`, `regular`, `rooted`, > `time-honored`, `universal`, `widely used`, `widespread` [SAH] "Conventional" would work. > * Term `native`; alternatives might be `built-in`, `fundamental`, > `ingrained`, > `intrinsic`, `original` [SAH] "built-in" would work. > ## Nits > > All comments below are about very minor potential issues that you may > choose to > address in some way - or ignore - as you see fit. Some were flagged by > automated tools (via https://secure- > web.cisco.com/1Ll1OGN59i2wQL9eYUrl4gSUrIIUryONvM8OPMHapjenWKKZ > h7DCwWdSGr4HFKU9gfmMNFzemDbNniIxi2nK9VQv1cch5XCaooARqAOnTyC > r_uonmPGfHlpgWXCPZpG6Sdwk1KL3DesD- > kZ3w3ffvTyIkQ4G9sohB9zTGrEe3WWpEWxLvHtK1nxeQbvto9lDNHpIE1qzSisY > rbc-ftwFo7eYjWxYBV8jd22YSyMJ2HLFasV9z95UvCQFnnOIH_psJD0Rud18- > DfE04We0F- > XWW_drVGNd9X6ld2FNQBhiKOn1Ny1Sj49fX9y9zH8dSghE/https%3A%2F%2F > github.com%2Flarseggert%2Fietf-reviewtool), so there > will likely be some false positives. There is no need to let me know what > you > did with these suggestions. > > ### URLs > > These URLs in the document did not return content: > > * https://secure-web.cisco.com/1cF0so15FMe6ipnXdNAlKaDhIc5CYwm- > boXvqnvvgdWI0kva_do-0XoPINSYE4uFu3hWftI8CVf- > FLte9hG7sqPFHS55sUy7HBQllw5SFhDM33MeZlx9LN8a-Q01hocwkpIgm- > F8BW6gN85P1U_TxlzjAz9iTB1sBUERFCw9niHCzht11XTQTaFtBjp4bMun2FVQs > WVVodgcnue_YoU2AXBA62kkbyyD4lGHZR8M6H4kGB3HLVhPW3Np0yMeW- > emXf_LIWxfTCxuNXPnKWJszstV04EX0OIRcZMH_oL9SGrWjeKqPBmo_zhOAT > T5tSq6o/https%3A%2F%2Ftestprovider.rdap.verisignlabs.com%2F > * https://secure- > web.cisco.com/1KEjMpYtCsAGZ9cO2UmEKkUFY26HD87jXJWxL3g7GokaiSTq5 > z5zdnsLEFFVHwCjsqDCkQx- > OH1MR05Gv2rNhk_c9lYdzqwDh0MwdomMd6c2RTLywSk_MZ7FkYskESuxP_y > XPbFZksETIfitHSEq7Py0IbDhXg05stJVwJBm6Kmj77qmRaEYTCs1HonJImNYr3l1 > 9VjQ8tG6SfbQBRJSWTfHH3VvEOLkpc6xzbLWNCBAu- > 70oWmKp8bHO3ZxoMWFnyymOhzZ8eIBa9qYZYNpUXral9RdiBmDeaGgaaVU > BLMhkqLWj2ZZ8OI4rS9hIlW0V/https%3A%2F%2Fauth.viagenie.ca > * https://secure- > web.cisco.com/1xZrt4b2ts194lHnEwScJgLRoUg0Y6cjALrX75Y1w9BlDUcOdDLw > AbxOqa1lC5xgfpq9dOdGcGEzXzsWMP2gP9NU- > 5OwMy2NVeSI4EuozDhqIVltDNfE4PM2g_9gxJ_w6qaEWmjzR8YrHQ5dKaEclJ > UIK2o7iWh2wtWNJ3UnNEo39aXfE_we- > YU2AZHw00AP68XJfDabWK0rKCCsqbXpQzpI0yJUs9Ln7y9RnQGAuHcS2yfLjB > W3GOY5HgMUjZDSHac0bxvzX8pegCkyTfXkw78fT5s_enxywfAxgsvtEC1TljE37 > GY4jzhllg23CoH17/https%3A%2F%2Frdap.verisignlabs.com%2F [SAH] These are all associated with implementation experiments that have been shut down. The lack of content is expected. > These URLs in the document can probably be converted to HTTPS: > > * http://secure- > web.cisco.com/1pQf21U6PeIzFytwHIDmMAeoyAmLX17ocXwtzBhsCIDhNe9F > BTFld_p0RresD_lUfU8dNsKNhPWp2i6zlZ6weiogzL1412a4fXvTsOWoVZUxlD2V > Rc2G33q_5E4A26zzHuO43ll1QOfDbC0sXYvjG6v9GHmikxFh8PraHY1wMozFNF > nu3dxyjV4xT312kSA0myTCcOiSBmPszwYhU0Rl9kV9lv37- > OX7OrxDlho7Mz3kU2MK7q1SGjgWqHxqIQk6D8GAuMwLQLTEKgiyKqWlLi9fw > Ip- > uFaAL5eDqo5dshYkWQyyRRodMadGl8yGiErCx/http%3A%2F%2Fopenid.net > %2Fspecs%2Fopenid-connect-discovery-1_0.html > * http://secure-web.cisco.com/1q9A97y8b3t9fRpRLr8rLvEQa3- > WmZP8VJhTlt5OXzCIfwamn3sDetB1UQyRfchjksERdvoCl_vX9U4AnRiP2corW- > qDpDo85cjvOGY85Pmyaq1mkQUXZP3Zt9kdemCnhHTd7dlSa96mG8xJdDju6rE > beBn3iF7Al2bXrRbj9F- > 69Zwk2sZf4SIEUECNOQg1ZQQaz2FZ5lHILAyiMAoKw5UlQ7- > smCX8oblNP9wJzKCnK3J63qHhn0KrHp1cTgREL0DnmMIHr0eh7Tl- > 7LXU5xaLLqVy5uhvr2v4Azhmzatn0wv_QN3_R4cz_C6JX4GYv/http%3A%2F%2 > Fopenid.net%2Fspecs%2Fopenid-connect-registration-1_0.html > * http://secure-web.cisco.com/12JXxy- > bJEics8BbYLUl88Lx4HQpxfUXnKmuGEl2VzWKn6azgwdCJIqh8uZ_ZDZ_4LANcx > ZYMRYgY6mIrJebjEjPMB89Lqlb8PentaTR4eah-_sskhqSn2-iX45Y_TS- > Rjt8c2IspLC- > gx3CxJ3VnjpU8usqW1TImvmgr4T6AqzJwlWtjbq0EH1amQo6YeIa4SxSQgAouX > - > 8T8NPFXXyQ6O28R3DHWq_x6g7994XJjeebfuGjEq3Tes84ByKTAgFDL15N4N4 > wAfPSQs9Wcvd5h9v4U- > _qx9nII9bOE_rdqSRv3xHhW7TkydM6DmXBDw8n/http%3A%2F%2Fcurl.haxx. > se%2F > * http://secure- > web.cisco.com/1xdMLzQ9qZnkf7SJYGDTabYtlSev8BcR9xVlyUXDrDyBiEGzY43- > i47-HOFsGJhYIdpiEH79bJgPLslVYYu1fjcmdhiatAx0G5BFbIO9Wk8QamR-Yo- > pGJITBXzIGZ2NBlkx_sKreeq7hvZ0oKgRiNpkrAkQj8nmuxk- > J6LyHZtnzweHWKFipKB1nPruSH2YAkrZE8mlzXsqNAkkveT4Jt_dheYnQSR7WB > wF1VgVig3u9hgyYKZefkPlqfeNdmsb-m4D- > mNz9Q9c6JSidD0_qFMRUSmFzyQMxdNnVVLyYid- > OD2DSuWcVBWON3AHIZcBb/http%3A%2F%2Fopenid.net%2Fconnect%2F > * http://secure- > web.cisco.com/1ijCYB00C6mUOfvAoMycF9kN5UHf8aqG0hoAl9HlV- > UgyDoOVwoVr- > H0MPQoK8L8OWZvv4seiAyO4HnrrNCiexnQdL4JTE4qfTmGTSivSNXbcKUfhaLo > Moh40ISa07AuhkXFOYwEPp3Vsp0Beyk2TZOn9OJViK- > hJRZudHaPDoELoMHg4S2Qd26iBorXGLvZ5nzfkIxNc0735mWwGfTM_ItRbkYw > hiav9GIXvOAFZHB2D7iHWNls1hK__1FlazjE2r2PowpJaBJXmdxRDrM8lF46SbAh > DLQC47RqWkVJn6alNkci4PTzwmXq9RiPGhUPf/http%3A%2F%2Fwww.verisig > nlabs.com%2F > * http://secure-web.cisco.com/1g78Lu4cGZpEgfGCn6lLmjwTYtgF- > YdALJVyaz21EhpLEpOEEDOyi6ar6iPIsjlnYU2so5VWdoAE96HH4Qmhd8TZXsCn > 9DQ7VxSbuQ8gHuyA6VHg0MKf5XSEwJUT6vgYaHBWpUREmMdeDHo5nkR4Ei > PCF2E3H_YIUS9lba7W9Mvv0NNq4sXLpEMMT8FDrsAfKyOt1wI4NdcwZ9KCoQ > Y7xvIztP_UgnBPhE5TBojLqM45YSTf- > 7NFMJzw2P_VNYiwcpX69FdZWmNqe5Z4CzlXW0kP9Yk1k3ZKP0Mt3qhzLC_zx > Uc7mPHbXzGOhDs_d4V2P/http%3A%2F%2Fopenid.net%2Fspecs%2Fopenid > -connect-core-1_0.html [SAH] I'll check them all. > ### Grammar/style > > #### Section 5.3, paragraph 5 > ``` > ely, an RDAP server MAY attempt to logout from the OP using the "OpenID > Conn > ^^^^^^ > ``` > Did you mean the verb "log out" instead of the noun "logout"? [SAH] Yes, will change. > #### Section 6.1, paragraph 1 > ``` > sues, DNS resolution failures, and web site functional issues. -----END > FORM- > ^^^^^^^^ > ``` > Nowadays, it's more common to write this as one word. [SAH] "web site" -> "website". Will fix. > #### Section 6.4, paragraph 1 > ``` > f use cases around informing the general public. -----END FORM----- 10. > Imple > ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ > ``` > Consider using only "public" to avoid wordiness. [SAH] Will fix. > #### Section 9.3, paragraph 4 > ``` > te for a fully authorized client. Currently supported identity providers > incl > ^^^^^^^^^ > ``` > A comma may be missing after the conjunctive/linking adverb "Currently". [SAH] I can strike "currently". Scott _______________________________________________ regext mailing list regext@ietf.org https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/regext
