Thanks, Murray. We will take this into account in the upcoming update.
Tobias > On 28. Jul 2021, at 06:46, Murray S. Kucherawy <superu...@gmail.com> wrote: > > Thanks, this is better. > > I'd like to suggest these as well, though I'll start Last Call now anyway and > you can count this as Last Call feedback. > > Continuing on the theme in my previous feedback: In Section 3.3, for the > "<maint:id>" tag, "maintenance" should be "maintenance event" or maybe just > "event" (three instances in this paragraph). Similar for "<maint:type>" > (1x), "<maint:pollType>" (5x), "<maint:systems>" (1x), "<maint:start>" (1x), > "<maint:end>" (1x), "<maint:reason>" (1x), "<maint:description>" (1x). In > 4.1.3.2, "the maintenance list" should be something like "the list of > maintenance items", consistent with the paragraph before it (2x in this > section). Also 4.1.4 (3x). > > -MSK > > > > On Sun, Jul 25, 2021 at 2:06 AM Tobias Sattler <satt...@united-domains.de > <mailto:satt...@united-domains.de>> wrote: > The new version (v16) is now online on datatracker. > > Best, > Tobias > >> On 16. Jul 2021, at 13:03, Tobias Sattler <satt...@united-domains.de >> <mailto:satt...@united-domains.de>> wrote: >> >> Thanks, Murray. >> >> We are not in a hurry. We will do the update next week then and look forward >> to the next steps. >> >> Best, >> Tobias >> >>> On 16. Jul 2021, at 09:09, Murray S. Kucherawy <superu...@gmail.com >>> <mailto:superu...@gmail.com>> wrote: >>> >>> Thanks, that's all fine. >>> >>> If this document is not slated to be on the IETF 111 agenda, I'm OK >>> approving its update during the embargo period. (I'm also fine just >>> waiting if there's no hurry.) >>> >>> -MSK >>> >>> On Wed, Jul 14, 2021 at 11:01 AM Tobias Sattler <satt...@united-domains.de >>> <mailto:satt...@united-domains.de>> wrote: >>> Hi Murray, >>> >>> Thank you very much for your feedback. >>> >>> We have prepared a new version (v16) on GitHub >>> (https://github.com/seitsu/registry-epp-maintenance/blob/master/draft-ietf-regext-epp-registry-maintenance.txt >>> >>> <https://github.com/seitsu/registry-epp-maintenance/blob/master/draft-ietf-regext-epp-registry-maintenance.txt>), >>> while the datatracker is currently locked for submissions till 2021-07-24 >>> 23:59 PDT. >>> >>> Please find inline our comments. >>> >>> Best, >>> Tobias >>> >>>> On 9. Jul 2021, at 21:16, Murray S. Kucherawy <superu...@gmail.com >>>> <mailto:superu...@gmail.com>> wrote: >>>> >>>> Hi all, >>>> >>>> This is my AD review for draft-ietf-regext-epp-registry-maintenance. >>>> >>>> General: >>>> >>>> The use of "maintenance" in this document is sometimes awkward to me, >>>> especially in its plural form. For instance, the first sentence of the >>>> introduction includes "conduct maintenances", which reads oddly. I think >>>> I would suggest "conduct maintenance", and change "upcoming maintenances" >>>> to "upcoming maintenance events" (as was done in Section 3.3) or "upcoming >>>> maintenance windows". >>>> >>> >>> TS: We addressed that in the new version. >>> >>>> Abstract: >>>> >>>> Should "registry's" perhaps be "registries" or "a registry's"? >>>> >>>> Actually perhaps this is a better solution: >>>> >>>> NEW: >>>> This document describes an Extensible Provisioning Protocol (EPP) >>>> extension called "Registry Maintenance Notifications", used by EPP clients >>>> and servers to notify each other about maintenance events. >>>> (END) >>> >>> TS: Thanks for that. We rewrote this part to make it more straightforward. >>> >>>> >>>> Section 1: >>>> >>>> I can't quite parse this sentence: >>>> >>>> This mapping provides a >>>> mechanism by which EPP servers may notify and EPP clients to query >>>> upcoming maintenances. >>> TS: We rephrased the Introduction. >>> >>>> Section 2 starts talking about particular EPP elements and commands. I >>>> think Section 1 should include a normative reference to EPP or some other >>>> document where these are defined. >>> >>> TS: Can you give us some pointers on that? There is a normative reference >>> in Section 1. >>> >>>> >>>> Section 3.2: "All dates and times attribute values ..." -- s/dates and >>>> times/date and time/ >>> >>> TS: Fixed. >>> >>>> >>>> Section 3.3: What does "the name of the maintenance" mean? Is this >>>> something like a headline or title, or a more complete description? >>> >>> TS: This more of a headline just for reference if you talk to someone about >>> it. >>> >>>> >>>> Also Section 3.3: If there might ever be a need to add more pollType >>>> values, or deprecate one of the ones listed, you might want to consider >>>> creating a registry for them. If not, this whole document needs to be >>>> updated or revised to include the new values. I have the same question >>>> about "<maint:reason>", "<maint:impact>", "<maint:environment>", and all >>>> of the others whose possible values are expressly enumerated. >>> >>> TS: We think that those fields are well designed, and pollType is an >>> optional field. Therefore, we want to avoid the additional overhead of >>> creating a registry for them. Historically those items haven’t changed. If >>> we need to correct them, we would do whatever is necessary (ERRATA, >>> creating a registry, etc.) >>> >>>> >>>> Also Section 3.3: For "<maint:environment>", what is "ote"? >>> >>> TS: ote stands for Operational Test and Evaluation, common terminology in >>> the domain name industry. >>> >>>> >>>> Also Section 3.3: In the examples, the "<maint:id>" seems to be a UUID. >>>> Is this at the discretion of the implementation (i.e., any format for the >>>> identifier is fine), or should this be constrained explicitly here? >>> >>> TS: That is only an example. It is at the discretion of the implementation. >>> >>>> >>>> Thank you for including Section 8. >>>> >>>> -MSK >>>> _______________________________________________ >>>> regext mailing list >>>> regext@ietf.org <mailto:regext@ietf.org> >>>> https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/regext >>>> <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/regext> >>> >> >> _______________________________________________ >> regext mailing list >> regext@ietf.org <mailto:regext@ietf.org> >> https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/regext >> <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/regext> >
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