< From: Russ Housley via Datatracker < Date: 2019-03-09 13:24 < To: sec...@ietf.org < CC: draft-ietf-regext-bundling-registration.all; ietf; regext < Subject: [regext] Secdir last call review of draft-ietf-regext-bundling-registration-09 < Reviewer: Russ Housley < Review result: Has Issues < I reviewed this document as part of the Security Directorate's ongoing < effort to review all IETF documents being processed by the IESG. These < comments were written primarily for the benefit of the Security Area < Directors. Document authors, document editors, and WG chairs should < treat these comments just like any other IETF Last Call comments. < Document: draft-ietf-regext-bundling-registration-09 < Reviewer: Russ Housley < Review Date: 2019-03-09 < IETF LC End Date: 2019-03-15 < IESG Telechat date: unknown
Thanks for your kind review. < Summary: Has Issues < Major Concerns: < If this document is going to be published on the IETF Stream, then the < IANA registrations should point to the IESG, not the document authors. We will update it. IANA registrations will point to the IESG. < Minor Concerns: < Section 2: Please update the first paragraph to reference RFC 8174 < in addition to RFC 2119, as follows: < The key words "MUST", "MUST NOT", "REQUIRED", "SHALL", "SHALL NOT", < "SHOULD", "SHOULD NOT", "RECOMMENDED", "NOT RECOMMENDED", "MAY", and < "OPTIONAL" in this document are to be interpreted as described in < BCP 14 [RFC2119] [RFC8174] when, and only when, they appear in all < capitals, as shown here. Thanks, will update it. < Nits: < The document has many grammer errors. For example, the first paragraph < of the Introduction has three things that need to be corrected: - s/which has identical/which have identical/ - s/labels(LABEL)/labels (LABEL)/ - s/(V-tld);/(V-tld)./ < In addition, there are several places in the document with arbitrary < extra white space. For example, in Section 8, it says: < <!-- < Child elements of the <b-dn:create> command < All elements must be present at time of creation < --> < Please correct the grammar and eliminate the extra white space. < Ins Section 7.2.2, some of the lines in the examples do not begin < with "S:". Please correct. < _______________________________________________ Thanks, we will have a detailed review and update it in the new version. Jiankang Yao < regext mailing list < regext@ietf.org < https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/regext
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