Gentle Ben

This is dumb. I mean, Ben was just a dog, and he wasn't even my dog. But 
something about Ben captured a big piece of my heart. And now, today, that 
piece of my heart is broken. Is that dumb, or what?

To be honest, I don't remember when or how I first became aware of Ben. I'm not 
exactly what you would call a pet person. I've always seen the dogs in the 
neighborhood as... well... dogs, something to be tolerated, not necessarily 
embraced. But there was something about this big old yellow Lab that made me 
notice him, and eventually love him, despite my best efforts to remain 
indifferent.

I think he first captured my attention as the leader of our neighborhood doggy 
gang.

I know you would normally call a group of dogs a pack, but that would suggest 
more organization, structure and purpose than these guys had. There were three 
or four of them, and they just sort of cruised the neighborhood, playing with 
children, yapping at cars and begging for food. Ben was clearly the alpha 
leader of the gang, because he was far and away the biggest of the dogs, but 
also because he had this powerful personality that seemed to permeate the 
entire gang... er... pack... er... whatever.

And that wasn't a bad thing. I quickly learned that Ben's personality was 
something special. Not to get too anthropomorphic or anything, but Ben was a 
gentle soul. Sure, he was also playful, fun, loyal and good-natured - all of 
those things that are often attributed to beloved dogs, but he was first and 
foremost gentle. I don't remember ever hearing him growl or bare his teeth or 
act in an intimidating way - ever. There was a basic goodness and sweetness 
about him that made you feel that he was... I don't know... kind, and caring, 
and compassionate. Is that dumb?

Certainly, Ben was special to my family, even though he wasn't ours. When my 
daughter Andrea was living at home, Ben would follow her when she went out 
jogging. I never feared for Andrea's safety because I knew Ben would take care 
of her. My son Jon would love to have a dog, but since we don't (see above), I 
have often found him playing and wrestling on the lawn with Ben. And even 
though she is allergic to dog hair, my wife, Anita, always carves out a piece 
of every pot roast and takes it outside to Ben, who seems to know when it is 
time to camp outside our back door and wait for his share of our dinner.

For my part, Ben has been my barbecue buddy. I don't know if it's the smell of 
the propane or what, but 10 minutes after I fire up the barbecue, he's there. 
He doesn't beg, exactly, he just stretches out on the grass in the shade of our 
backyard apple tree and patiently waits. Occasionally he lifts up his head to 
look at me, in much the same way that Anita will occasionally poke her head out 
the back door to see how the grilling is coming. When Ben gets up and saunters 
over to the grill, I know that it's time to eat.

I'll probably burn our next barbecue, because he won't be there to tell me when 
it's done.

The last time we saw Ben was early last Friday morning. We were packing the car 
to take a quick trip out of town. Ben was just sitting there, watching me pack 
the car.

He wasn't frolicking like he used to when he was a pup, but he sat there, and I 
talked to him a little as I prepared to leave. Then Jon came outside and 
scratched the back of Ben's head.

"Hey, Buddy," Jon said, as Ben looked up at him with those adoring eyes of his. 
"Did you come to say good-bye?"

Evidently, he did. When we got home Sunday night, our neighbor tearfully told 
us that Ben had been peacefully put to sleep. We knew Ben was getting old, but 
we weren't aware of the health problems he was having that finally caught up to 
him that morning.

So it was startling to us.

We took our evening walk in silence. We informed other neighbors of the loss in 
hushed tones. Tears were shed by all of us, who believe that our neighborhood 
is a kinder, gentler place because we knew and loved a dog named Ben, even if 
that sounds... you know... dumb.

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