thanks i thought  some one mite get a laugh out of them delma
----- Original Message ----- 
From: <[email protected]>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Thursday, May 14, 2009 2:05 PM
Subject: [RecipesAndMore] Re: 10 Housekeeping Tips.


>
> Hi, Delma.  These were good.  LOL.
>
> Becky
>
> --------------------------------------------------
> From: "Delma" <[email protected]>
> Sent: Thursday, May 14, 2009 1:28 PM
> To: "RecipesAndMore" <[email protected]>
> Subject: [RecipesAndMore] 10 Housekeeping Tips.
>
>>
>>
>> 10 Housekeeping Tips.
>>
>> 1. Vacuuming too often weakens the
>> carpet
>> fibers. Say this with a serious face, and shudder delicately whenever
>> anyone mentions Carpet Fresh.
>>
>> 2. Dust bunnies can evolve into dust rhinos when disturbed. Rename the
>> area
>> under the couch "The Galapagos Islands" and claim an ecological 
>> exemption.
>>
>> 3. Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful filter
>> against harmful and aging rays from the sun. Call it an SPF factor of 5
>> and
>> leave
>> it alone.
>>
>> 4. Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduces the glare from the
>> bulb,
>> thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If your significant other points
>> out
>> that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look affronted and exclaim,
>> "What? And spoil the mood?"
>>
>> 5. In a pinch, you can always claim that the haphazard tower of unread
>> magazines and newspapers next to your
>> chair
>> provides the valuable Feng Shui aspect of a tiger, thereby reducing your
>> vulnerability. Roll your eyes when you say this.
>>
>> 6. Explain the mound of pet hair brushed up against the doorways by
>> claiming
>> you are collecting it there to use for stuffing hand sewn play animals 
>> for
>> underprivileged children.
>>
>> 7. If unexpected company is coming, pile everything unsightly into one
>> room
>> and close the door. As you show your guests through your tidy home, 
>> rattle
>> the door knob vigorously, fake a growl and say, "I'd love you to see our
>> Den, but Fluffy hates to be disturbed and the shots are SO expensive."
>>
>> 8. If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply place a showy urn on the
>> coffee
>> table
>> and insist that "THIS is where Grandma wanted us to scatter her ashes..."
>>
>> 9. Don't bother repainting. Simply scribble lightly over a dirty wall 
>> with
>> an assortment of crayons, and try to muster a glint of tears as you say,
>> "Junior
>> did this the week before that unspeakable accident... I haven't had the
>> heart to clean it..."
>>
>> 10. Mix one-quarter cup pine-scented household
>> cleaner
>> with four cups of water in a spray bottle. Mist the air lightly. Leave
>> dampened rags in conspicuous locations. Develop an exhausted look, throw
>> yourself
>> onto the couch, and sigh, "I clean and I clean and I still don't get
>> anywhere..." If "From dust we came, and to dust we shall return," then 
>> who
>> are all
>> those people under the bed?
>>
>>
>>
>> >
>>
>
> > 


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