Never give up, there's light at the end of the tunnel! Have you ever felt like you are standing in a busy street screaming but every single person still passes you by, without even noticing?
This is how I felt twelve months ago in the middle of year 11 when I came to the sudden realization that life was not easy. Over a period of about two months I fell into a deep hole of depression as several cohesive issues arose in my life. It all began when school started to get difficult; after years of easy grades I suddenly had to work for them and the requirements became more complex and intense. After a while I gave up trying as I convinced myself that I just couldn't do it. I was lost and confused, having no idea of what I wanted of the future and loosing motivation day by day. I thought that by giving up and ignoring the difficult things life would get easier. It did the opposite in fact - it became much harder. Gradually I became increasingly unhappy with myself and it began effecting other parts of my life, particularly relationships with my family and close friends. I became very removed and distant as the emotions became more intense and I fell deeper into this black hole. Although I maintained the smile and the happy face, I was screaming on the inside for someone to notice how unhappy I was. After a while I began despising these people I love, convincing myself that I was alone in the world, that nobody understood me or really liked me. Sadness turned to anger - I was angry at the world, at myself and at everyone else. I began taking my anger out on my family, constantly fighting with mum. I just didn't know what else to do - fearing the emotions and fearing having to deal with them too, they just stayed bottled up inside. I spent a lot of time alone in my room listening to music and crying to myself, trying to escape from the world. I soon found an outlet for my emotions by writing and drawing. By getting it all out onto paper I could begin to think more clearly and make sense of how I felt. The situation got better when I finally began to talk about it and all of a sudden it did not seem so bad after all. I opened up to a friend and it all spilled out in tears and emotion as I realized that people did care about me. It was like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I learned a lot about life as I overcame this depression - it is not easy, but it's not meant to be easy. It's the challenging times and experiences that make us better and stronger people. I am now doing year 12 and although I still don't know exactly what I want to do in life I have realized that if you do things that make you happy, you will get somewhere that you want to be and you will find happiness along the way. I get through each day, not feeling lost, but living the moment for what it is and looking forward to the future when things work out the way they are meant to. Never give up, there's light at the end of the tunnel. A single candle can illuminate an entire room. A true friend lights up an entire lifetime. Thanks for the bright lights of your friendship. --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ Access the Recipes And More list archives at: http://www.mail-archive.com/recipesandmore%40googlegroups.com/ Visit the group home page at: http://groups.google.com/group/RecipesAndMore -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
