A.) Leave well enough alone, you idiot.
I think there's some value in that. 

B.) Try Bosco bars with whatever stem is already on the bike.
I wouldn't. Those Boscos come back miles. 

C.) Get the Bullmoose Boscos and be done with it.
I wouldn't as you're not sure if the reach and tilt of the bar are appropriate 
for you yet. 

D.) Steal the Clem and convince husband that the BF is actually his bike.
I would support this 

E.) Buy a Clementine and wait to be served with divorce papers.
This seems reasonable. 

F.) All of the above.

I would add a G) which is really just a permutation of B. Get Boscos, try them 
and then buy a stem that's 2-5cm longer when you realize the bars come back too 
far.

Then there's H) which is do any of the above and then swap it back to Albas in 
3-6 months when you start missing them. 

-Justin

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