OK, rather than criticize Obama all the time, I'm going to do my patriotic duty and suggest in all earnestness some more Czar positions our Dear Leader should consider, and candidates for those positions.
Joke Czar --------- David Letterman - Boned his staff, exposed to extortion racket. Clear favorite. Al Franken - Even though he isn't funny, it'd be great to get him out of the Senate before his ties to ACORN and the voter fraud that gave him his slim victory are exposed. Teen Pregnancy Czar ------------------- Roman Polanski - Hands down (legs up) favorite. He knows the difference between safe sex and rape-rape (Source: Whoopi Goldberg). Obesity Czar ------------ Michael Moore - Capitalism may have done nothing for him, but those Twinkies sure have. Added bonus, he's an avowed Socialist, almost as upfront about it as Van Jones. Botox Czar ----------- John Kerry - Did you know he served in Viet Nam? Another one whose talents are wasted in the Senate. Ass Snarfing Czar ------------------ Chuck Schumer - A classic example of the candidate defining the position. Presidential Back Rub Czar -------------------------- Barbara Streisand - Clearly qualified. Or in any case, eager. Oprah Winfrey - Early favorite. She coined the term "The One" first. Chris Matthews - That tingle in his leg emits an electric charge through his fingertips that are probably therapeutic, if you're into that kind of thing. Media Accuracy Czar -------------------- Dan Rather - "Fake but accurate" is clearly a standard he defined, and it's been adopted by all the so-called "mainstream" news outlets. Who better to defend Obama's bogus online "Certification of Live Birth"? FOX News Watchdog Czar ---------------------- Ed Schultz - We need somebody objective to counter all the CRAZY stuff Beck is saying. Ed's demonstrated this by famously pointing out on his MSNBC show that all Republicans want people to die of cancer. Olympic Czar ------------ AHnold Schwartzennegger - Need another token Republican-in-name-only (RINO), and his handling of the California budget shows he's clearly the kind of person Mayor Daley would love to keep track of expenses for the Olympic games. Celebrity Book Czar -------------------- Bill Ayers - Without whom "Dreams" would have never been published. Somebody needs to fact-check "Going Rogue" before it hits the shelves. Religion Czar -------------- Jeremiah Wright - His commitment to the "Black Liberation Theology" of James Cone and anti-Semitism are just what this nation needs to heal across the religious divide. Bill Maher - He hates religion and loves to mock people who believe in God, but otherwise he's perfectly qualified and fits in ideologically with the rest of "Team Obama". Mortgage Loan Czar -------------------- Wade Rathke - Founded ACORN, and will need a job soon. His group was very active in this area. Barney Frank - Who better to fix the current mess than one of its primary architects in the House? Franklin Raines - As head of Fannie Mae during the mortgage debacle, he has the same basic qualification as Barney Frank, except he's smarter, and gave lots of $$$ to The One's campaign. Military Morale Czar --------------------- Dick Durbin - Famously compared our troops to Nazis and murderers. Why not? Harry Reid - Also will need a new job soon. Famously advised General Petraeus that the Iraq war is hopelessly lost, even as the surge was substantially improving conditions on the ground. Bipartisanship Czar -------------------- This one should be a triumvirate: John McCain, Olympia Snowe, Susan Collins. Arlen Specter was in the running until he came out of the closet. .... those are just off the top of my head.... ideas welcome... ;) - Bob > -----Original Message----- > From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]] On > Behalf Of Bob Calco > Sent: Friday, October 02, 2009 5:26 AM > To: 'ProFox Email List' > Subject: [OT] Czar Opportunities -- was: RE: [OT] - Terrorist Threat > Levels > > > > > > Clearly, we need more regulation over who thinks what's funny. Oh, > > > where is > > > the Joke Czar when you need one? > > > > Come to think of which, somebody should call Valerie Jarrett about > > Roman > > Polanski's availability to serve in the US soon. He'd fit right in > with > > the > > rest of the czars (especially the Safe Schools Czar) and I hear he > has > > great > > character references in Hollywood willing to vouch for him. > > Actually, now that it has been revealed that Letterman was boning his > staff > and exposed himself thereby to an extortion racket, he clearly has a > better > resume than Polanski for the Joke Czar position. And sometimes, he's > even > funny. > > A better position for Polanski, given the competitive landscape, might > be > the Teen Pregnancy Czar. He clearly knows what needs to be done to deal > to > solve THAT problem. > > - Bob > > > > > I only mention the czars in this context because the subject IS > > terrorist > > threat levels... > > > > :) > > > > - Bob > > > > [excessive quoting removed by server] _______________________________________________ Post Messages to: [email protected] Subscription Maintenance: http://leafe.com/mailman/listinfo/profox OT-free version of this list: http://leafe.com/mailman/listinfo/profoxtech Searchable Archive: http://leafe.com/archives/search/profox This message: http://leafe.com/archives/byMID/profox/[email protected] ** All postings, unless explicitly stated otherwise, are the opinions of the author, and do not constitute legal or medical advice. This statement is added to the messages for those lawyers who are too stupid to see the obvious.
