Problem resolved. Turns out that my internal DNS server's configuration and 
a misinstalled/configured web-statistics counter were to blame. PHP runs 
great and a recent upgrade to mySQL added significant performance gains via 
query caching...

"Edward Tilley" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote in message 
news:[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> environment - PII 450, 1 Gb RAM, Windows 2000 Server, IIS 5, PHP 4.3.1, 
> MySQL 4.0.23
>
> My php website screams on my local network segment but slows to a crawl 
> everytime a remote user (someone outside my firewall) calls a php page. My 
> processor goes to 100% for 2 to 5 seconds and php.exe becomes the top CPU 
> consumer.
>
> Has anyone else seen this behaviour? I forward port 80 requests through 
> the firewall presently and I think I have covered all of my DNS bases.
>
> Thanks for any help !
>
> Ed 

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