Mens Rules For Women
1.If you think you are fat, you probably are. Do not ask us.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat; if it's up, put it down.
3. Do not cut your hair. Ever.
4. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
5. Get rid of your cat.
6. Sunday = Sports.
7. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
8. You have enough clothes.
9. You have too many shoes.
10. Crying is blackmail.
11. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints do not work.
12. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
13. Yes, peeing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point
blank range. We are bound to miss sometimes.
14. "Yes" and "no" are perfectly acceptable answers.
15. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a
doctor.
16. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an
argument.
17. If you do not dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, do not expect
us to act like soap opera guys.
18. If something we said could be interpreted two ways, and one of
the
ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
19. Let us ogle. If we do not look at other women, how can we
know how
pretty you are?
20. Do not rub the lamp if you do not want the genie to come out.
21. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you
want it
done, not both.
22. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do
we.
Ron Pitts
Caravela Books
134 Goodburlet Road
Henrietta, NY 14467 http://caravelabooks.com
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