"*Really* big sites don't ever have referential
integrity. Or if the few spots they do (like with
financial transactions) it's implemented on the
application level (via, say, optimistic locking), never the
database level."

Sure, but in the forum benchmark I just did, when using MyISAM, with no reference integrity checks, at the end of the benchmark, there is an impressive number of records with broken foreign key relations... when the user kills his HTTP connection or reloads at the wrong moment, and the script is interrupted, or killed by an exception or whatever, boom.

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