Andy Colson <a...@squeakycode.net> writes:
> now now we have a membership record (100), but no customer record.

I haven't really been following this thread, but: isn't the answer
to that to establish a foreign-key constraint?  If there's an FK
then the database will provide sufficient row locking to prevent
you from deleting a row that someone else is in the midst of creating
a reference to.

                        regards, tom lane

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