>You suggested:
>         file($file, 'w');      # is it writeable?

Not that I'm advocating it but you do something like:

test($file, WRITEABLE);
test($file, WRITEABLE & READABLE);
...

where constants are defined for various "attributes" to be tested for...
Currently 23, or 3 bytes... (not that it matters ;-)

This seems rather readable and less (name-space) cluttery,
and if it suits you it could be named ftest or somesuch...

Hell you could even make it magical and allow the -X switched enlieu of
constants... Where use English would be required to get the constants.
--
#!/usr/bin/perl -nl
BEGIN{($,,$0)=("\040",21);@F=(sub{tr[a-zA-Z][n-za-mN-ZA-M];print;});
$_="Gnxr 1-3 ng n gvzr, gur ynfg bar vf cbvfba.";&{$F[0]};sub t{*t=sub{};
return if rand()<.5;$_="Vg'f abg lbhe ghea lrg, abj tb.";&{$F[0]};$_=0;}
sub v{print map sprintf('%c', 2**7-2**2),(1 .. $0);}&v;}{$_++;$_--;$_||=4;
if($_>>2||($_<<2>12)){$_="Vainyvq ragel";&{$F[0]};last;}&t;$0-=$_;$_="Lbh jva";
die(&{$F[0]}) if !($0-1);$0-=$0%2?$0>2?2:1:$0<=5?$0>2?3:1:rand>.5?1:3;
$_="V jva";die(&{$F[0]}) if !($0-1>1);}&v __END__ http://pthbb.org/
MOTD on Setting Orange, the 51st of Bureaucracy, in the YOLD 3166:

No, just the nipple-cones, officer, just the nipple-cones.

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