Dear authors of draft-ietf-opsawg-ntw-attachment-circuit,
Here is the last of the four documents that form this cluster. And just like
the other three, please respond to the COMMENTs provided here, while you decide
how you want to handle the NITs.
Thanks again for a comprehensive document.
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COMMENT
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Paragraph 1
> A Network YANG Data Model for Attachment Circuits
> draft-ietf-opsawg-ntw-attachment-circuit-12
Just a note. This review covers -12 version of the document. I see there is a
-13 verion that is out.
Section 1, paragraph 6
> .---.
> |CE6|
> '-+-'
> ac | .---. .---.
> | |CE5+------+------+CE2|
> .-----+-----. '---' | '---'
> | | |ac
> | | |
> .-+-. .-+-. .-+-.
> .-+sap+-------+sap+-. .-+sap+-------------.
> | '---' '---' | | '---' |
> | PE1 | | PE2 |
> .---. .-+-. | | |
> |CE1+--+sap| | | |
> '---'ac'-+-' | | |
> '-------------------' '-------------------'
>
> .-------------------. .-------------------.
> | | | .-+-.ac.---.
> | PE3 | | PE4 |sap+--+CE5|
> | | | '---' '---'
> | | | |
> | .---. | | .---. .---. .---. |
> '-------------+sap+-' '-+sap+-+sap+-+sap+-'
> '-+-' '-+-' '-+-' '-+-'
> |ac | |ac |ac
> .-+-. | .-+-. |
> |CE3+-----ac-----' |CE4+---'
> '---' '---'
>
> Figure 1: Attachment Circuits Examples
It would be helpful if the cluster of these four documents would use a single
diagram across the drafts, even as they define different parts of the diagram.
Specifically, in draft-ietf-opsawg-ac-lxsm-lxnm-glue, the diagram was updated
to differentiate between CE having two ACs, one with the same bearer id, and
one with two separate bearer ids. That is not reflected in this document.
Section 1, paragraph 7
> The YANG data model in this document conforms to the Network
> Management Datastore Architecture (NMDA) defined in [RFC8342].
Please state explicitly that this is a YANG 1.1 mode, and providing a normative
reference to RFC7950.
Section 4, paragraph 1
> Figure 3 shows the positioning of the AC network model in the overall
> service delivery process. The 'ietf-ac-ntw' module is a network
> model which augments the SAP with a comprehensive set of parameters
> to reflect the attachment circuits that are in place in a network.
> The model also maintains the mapping with the service references that
> are used to expose these ACs to customers
> [I-D.ietf-opsawg-teas-attachment-circuit]. Whether the same naming
> conventions to reference an AC are used in the service and network
> layers is deployment-specific.
Would it help to specify a little more context here? For example, "The model
also maintains the mapping with the service references that are used to expose
those ACs to customer using the 'ietf-ac-sv' module defined in
[I-D.ietf-opsawg-teas-attachment-circuti].
Section 5, paragraph 1
> The full tree diagram of the 'ietf-ac-ntw' module can be generated
> using the "pyang" tool [PYANG]. That tree is not included here
> because it is too long (Section 3.4 of [RFC8340]). Instead, subtrees
> are provided in the following subsections for the reader's
> convenience.
Following the discussion on the netmod mailing list, please include a complete
tree diagram in the Appendix.
Section 5.1, paragraph 3
> A node can host one or more SAPs. Per [RFC9408], a SAP is an
> abstraction of the network reference point (the PE side of an AC, in
> the context of this document) where network services can be delivered
> and/or are delivered to customers. Each SAP terminates one or
> multiple ACs. Each AC in turn may be terminated by one or more peer
> SAPs ('peer-sap'). In order to expose such AC/SAP binding
> information, the SAP model [RFC9408] is augmented with required AC-
> related information.
The authors should follow the guidance in rfc8407-bis, Section 4.3.1 for naming
the identifiers. For example, there is no need to prefix 'ac-svc-ref',
'ac-profile', or 'ac-parent-ref' with the prefix 'ac', as the parent is named
'ac’.
Also, not clear on this statement. "where network services can be delivered
and/or are delivered to customers". I think a clear distinction should be added
to distinguish between 'sap' and 'peer-sap' as it applies to the network or
customer side of the network. For example, from this modules perspective, and
as stated above, a SAP is a network reference point on the Provider Edge (PE),
whereas the peer-sap is remote endpoint of an AC, that is the Customer Edge
(CE). It is not always clear in the document which end of the AC or SAP is
being referred to.
Finally, the term 'peer SAP' or 'peer-sap' seems to have been introduced here
for the first time. It has been defined in RFC9408, so maybe just a reference
needs to be added. Can the terminology, and maybe one of the diagrams indicate
where a 'peer-sap' can exist?
Section 5.4, paragraph 1
> The 'l2-connection' container is used to manage the Layer 2
> properties of an AC. The Layer 2 connection tree structure is shown
> in Figure 8.
Which side of the AC. PE or CE? If it is PE, since this is the network AC, who
is the consumer of this information? If it is the CE, then should this be in
this model or in the ietf-ac-svc model?
Section 6, paragraph 12
> description
> "A type for an absolute reference to an attachment circuit.";
Per yangdoctors comment, albeit it was on the typedef statement, but because
they were both talking about references, this should be modified to say, "An
absolute reference to an attachment circuit."
Section 6, paragraph 12
> description
> "A type for an absolute reference to an attachment circuit.";
Same comment as above, and all description statments that start with "A type
for an absolute reference ...".
Section 7, paragraph 1
> This section uses the template described in Section 3.7 of
> [I-D.ietf-netmod-rfc8407bis].
Please consider using the latest text of the template based on the discussion
on the mailing list.
Possible DOWNREF from this Standards Track doc to [IEEE802.1Qcp]. If so, the
IESG needs to approve it.
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NIT
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All comments below are about very minor potential issues that you may choose to
address in some way - or ignore - as you see fit. Some were flagged by
automated tools (via https://github.com/larseggert/ietf-reviewtool), so there
will likely be some false positives. There is no need to let me know what you
did with these suggestions.
Paragraph 1
+ COMMENT:
Section 1, paragraph 4
> The document leverages [RFC9182] and [RFC9291] by adopting an AC
> provisioning structure that uses data nodes that are defined in these
> RFCs. Some refinements were introduced to cover, not only
> conventional service provider networks, but also specifics of other
> target deployments (cloud network, for example).
s/in these RFCs/in those RFCs/
s/to cover,/to cover/
s/(cloud network, for example)/e.g., cloud network/
Section 1, paragraph 4
> The AC network model is designed as augmentations to both the 'ietf-
> network' model [RFC8345] and the Service Attachment Point (SAP) model
> [RFC9408]. An attachment circuit can be bound to a single or
> multiple SAPs. Likewise, the model is designed to accommodate
> deployments where a SAP can be bound to one or multiple ACs (e.g., a
> parent AC and its child ACs).
s/augmentations to/augmentations of/
Section 5.3, paragraph 4
> The exact definition of the specific provisioning profiles profiles
> is local to each service provider. The model only includes an
> identifier for these profiles in order to ease identifying and
> binding local policies when building an AC. As shown in Figure 7,
> the following identifiers can be included:
s/profiles profiles/profiles/
Document references draft-ietf-opsawg-teas-common-ac-11, but -12 is the latest
available revision.
Document references draft-ietf-opsawg-teas-attachment-circuit-13, but -17 is
the latest available revision.
Document references draft-ietf-netmod-rfc8407bis-14, but -20 is the latest
available revision.
Mahesh Jethanandani
mjethanand...@gmail.com
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