Hi Brian, Thank you for the comments.
Please see inline. Cheers, Med > -----Message d'origine----- > De : OPSAWG [mailto:[email protected]] De la part de Brian E > Carpenter > Envoyé : vendredi 5 juin 2020 01:00 > À : [email protected] > Cc : OpsAWG-Chairs > Objet : Re: [OPSAWG] WG LC: draft-ietf-opsawg-model-automation- > framework-03 > > Hi, > > I've read through the draft and it seems almost ready to progress as > an Informational document. I just found one tricky issue in the > Security Considerations: > > > The lowest RESTCONF layer > > is HTTPS, and the mandatory-to-implement secure transport is TLS > > [RFC8446]. > > Do you intend to specify TLS 1.3 as mandatory to implement? [Med] Yeah. We are echoing the guidelines in RFC8407#section-3.7.1. RFC8040 > specifies TLS 1.2, and this Informational document can't change that. > > Editorial: > > There seem to be a lot of very long, complicated sentences that are > difficult to understand. For example, in the Abstract: > > > Data models for service and network management provides a > > programmatic approach for representing services or networks and > > deriving (1) configuration information that will be communicated > to > > network and service components that are used to build and deliver > the > > service and (2) state information that will be monitored and > tracked. > and in the Introduction: > > > SDN techniques [RFC7149] are meant to automate the > > overall service delivery procedures and typically rely upon > > (standard) data models that are used to not only reflect service > > providers'savoir-faire but also to dynamically instantiate and > > enforce a set of (service-inferred) policies that best > accommodate > > what has been (contractually) defined (and possibly negotiated) > with > > the customer. > > I suggest reviewing all the sentence above ~40 words to consider > splitting them into several shorter sentences. [Med] Sure. Will check and fix those. Thanks. > > Also, in the second example, the () () are more confusing than > helpful. Throughout the document, I see uses of () that do not help > the reader. For example: > > > 4.1.2. Service Creation/Modification > > > > A customer is (usually) unaware of the technology... > > It is just easier to read like this: > > A customer is usually unaware of the technology... > [Med] Noted. Will be fixed. > Regards > Brian Carpenter > > _______________________________________________ > OPSAWG mailing list > [email protected] > https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/opsawg _______________________________________________ OPSAWG mailing list [email protected] https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/opsawg
