Apologies, I forgot to CC the WG. I'll also be asking Benoit to give it the once over, as he is much more familiar with this topic. W
---------- Forwarded message ---------- From: Warren Kumari <[email protected]> Date: Mon, Sep 4, 2017 at 8:43 PM Subject: AD Review of draft-ietf-opsawg-service-model-explained To: [email protected] Hi there, First off, thanks for a really well written document -- this is one of the cleanest AD reviews I've done. I do have some very minor grammar nits. I'd prefer a new version with these addressed, but they are all sufficiently minor that I'm also OK starting the LC as is. Please let me know which you'd prefer. 1: While unfortunate, I think many will not understand the q.v. in the Service definition in Section 2. Terms and Concepts. Perhaps break it out, or more clearly point where more info is to be found. 2: Section 6.3. Customer Service Model Work "The most advanced presents the L3VPN service..." - I'd suggest "Currently the most advanced presents the L3VPN service..." -- there may be another, more advanced one soon... The reset of the nits are in [O]riginal, [P]roposed, [R]emark / Reason / Rational / <something else that starts with R> format. Section Abstract This document describes service models as used within the IETF, and [O] IETF, and [P] IETF and [R] grammar Section 1. Introduction. Within the context of Software Defined Networking (SDN) [RFC7149] [RFC7426] YANG data models may be used on the interface between a [O] [RFC7426] YANG data models [P] [RFC7426], YANG data models [R] grammar Ultimately they could be used in online, software-driven dynamic systems, and eventually as part of an SDN system. [O] systems, and [P] systems and [R] grammar Equally, this document clarifies what a service model is not, and dispels some common misconceptions. [O] not, and [P] not and [R] grammar - I think. Section 2. Terms and Concepts An example of where such details are relevant to the customer are when they describe the behavior or interactions on the [O] are when [P] is when [R] subject/verb agreement ("An example [...] is [...]") The distinction between a customer service model and a service delivery model needs to be repeatedly clarified. A customer service [O] repeatedly clarified. [R] This seems like an odd thing to say. Maybe, "needs to be emphasized" or "bears repeating" instead? Section 4. Service Models in an SDN Context That is, there should be an independence between the behavior and functions that a customer requests and the technology that the network operator has available to deliver the service. The [O] That is, there should be an independence between the behavior and functions that a customer requests and the technology that the network operator has available to deliver the service. [P] That is, the behavior and functions that a customer requests should be independent of the technology that the network operator has available to deliver the service. [R] readability. Not sure if P is much better. Section 5. Possible Causes of Confusion SLAs are also linked to commercial terms with penalties and so forth, and so are also not good topics for [O] and so are also not good [P] and thus SLAs are also not good [R] grammar/clarity Section 6.1. Comparison With Network Service Models These are service delivery models as described in this document, that is, they [O] document, that is, they [P] document; that is, they [R] grammar are the models used on the interface between the Service Orchestrator or OSS/BSS and the Network Orchestrator as shown in Figure 3. Figure 1 of [RFC8199] can be modified to make this more clear and to add an additional example of a Network Service YANG model as shown in Figure 4. This figure illustrates a functional architecture and an [O] architecture and an [P] architecture, and an [R] grammar Section 6.2. Service Delivery and Network Element Model Work These models focus on how the network operator configures the network through protocols and devices to deliver a service. Some of these models are classified as service delivery models while [O] models while [P] models, while [R] grammar 6.4. The MEF Architecture This does not invalidate either approach, but only [O] approach, but [P] approach; [R] grammar (or "either approach, it only" ?) 7.2. Relationship to Policy As with commercial terms and SLAs discussed in Section 5 it is [O] Section 5 it is [P] Section 5, it is [R] grammar 7.3. Operator-Specific Features They also understood that should an individual network operator want to describe additional features (operator-specific features) they could do so by [O] that should an individual network operator want to describe additional features (operator-specific features) [P] that, should an individual network operator want to describe additional features (operator-specific features), [R] grammar 7.4. Supporting Multiple Services [O] It is an implementation and deployment choice whether all service models are processed by a single Service Orchestrator that can coordinate between the different services, or whether each service model is handled by a specialized Service Orchestrator able to provide tuned behavior for a specific service. [P] Whether each service model is handled by a specialized Service Orchestrator able to provide tuned behavior for a specific service or whether all service models are handled by a single Service Orchestrator is an implementation and deployment choice. [R] readability Section 8. Security Considerations Therefore it is important that the protocol interface used to exchange service request information between customer and network operator is subject to authorization, authentication, and encryption. Equally, all external intefaces, such as any of those between the [O] intefaces [P] interfaces [R] spelling W -- I don't think the execution is relevant when it was obviously a bad idea in the first place. This is like putting rabid weasels in your pants, and later expressing regret at having chosen those particular rabid weasels and that pair of pants. ---maf -- I don't think the execution is relevant when it was obviously a bad idea in the first place. This is like putting rabid weasels in your pants, and later expressing regret at having chosen those particular rabid weasels and that pair of pants. ---maf _______________________________________________ OPSAWG mailing list [email protected] https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/opsawg
