LION
AIR
"Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your captain
speaking.
Welcoming both seated and standing passengers on board of Lion Air.
We apologize for the four-day delay in taking off, it was due
to bad
weather and some overtime I had to put in at the
bakery.
This is flight 717 to Yogyakarta. Landing there is not
guaranteed, but
we will end up somewhere in Central Java .And, if luck is in
our
favor, we may even be landing on your village!
Lion Air has
an excellent safety-record. In fact, our safety
standards are so high,
that even terrorists are afraid to fly with us!
It is with
pleasure; I announce that, starting this year, over 30% of
our passengers
have reached their destination.
If our engines are too noisy for you, on
passenger request, we can
arrange to turn them off!
For our
not-so-religious passengers, we are the only airline who can
help you
find out if there really is a God!
We regret to inform you, that today's
in-flight movie will not be
shown as we forgot to record it from
the television. However, for our
movie buffs, we will be flying right
next to Garuda Indonesia, where
their movie will be visible from the right
side of the cabin window.
There is no smoking allowed in this airplane.
Any smoke you see in the
cabin is only the early warning system on the
engines telling us to
slow down!
In order to catch important
landmarks, we try to fly as close as
possible for the best view. If however,
we go a little too close, do
let us know. Our enthusiastic co-pilot
sometimes flies right through
the landmark!
Kindly be seated, keep
your seat in an upright position for take-off
and fasten your seat-belt. For
those of you who can't find a
seat-belt, kindly fasten your own belt to
the arm of your seat. And,
for those of you who can't find a seat, do not
hesitate to get in
touch with a stewardess who will explain how to
fasten yourself to
your suitcase."
Enjoy LION AIR !!
