Hi Lars,
we addressed your comments in -15 which we just uploaded:
https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-dpop-15.html
-Daniel
Am 12.04.23 um 17:07 schrieb Brian Campbell:
Thank you, Lars, for the review and ballot. I put together this small
PR with updates for the comments/nits
https://github.com/oauth-wg/oauth-step-up-authn-challenge/pull/4
On Wed, Apr 12, 2023 at 5:18 AM Lars Eggert via Datatracker
<nore...@ietf.org> wrote:
Lars Eggert has entered the following ballot position for
draft-ietf-oauth-step-up-authn-challenge-14: No Objection
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----------------------------------------------------------------------
COMMENT:
----------------------------------------------------------------------
# GEN AD review of draft-ietf-oauth-step-up-authn-challenge-14
CC @larseggert
Thanks to Christer Holmberg for the General Area Review Team
(Gen-ART) review
(https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/gen-art/oLXp-vndky-rjnfs7kkHjH8acSg).
## Comments
### Inclusive language
Found terminology that should be reviewed for inclusivity; see
https://www.rfc-editor.org/part2/#inclusive_language for
background and more
guidance:
* Term `traditional`; alternatives might be `classic`,
`classical`, `common`,
`conventional`, `customary`, `fixed`, `habitual`, `historic`,
`long-established`, `popular`, `prescribed`, `regular`, `rooted`,
`time-honored`, `universal`, `widely used`, `widespread`
## Nits
All comments below are about very minor potential issues that you
may choose to
address in some way - or ignore - as you see fit. Some were flagged by
automated tools (via
https://github.com/larseggert/ietf-reviewtool), so there
will likely be some false positives. There is no need to let me
know what you
did with these suggestions.
### URLs
These URLs in the document can probably be converted to HTTPS:
* http://openid.net/specs/openid-connect-core-1_0.html
### Grammar/style
#### Section 2, paragraph 12
```
hentication level, and the new one- selecting the appropriate
token for each
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
```
This word seems to be formatted incorrectly. Consider fixing the
spacing or
removing the hyphen completely.
#### Section 4, paragraph 1
```
Subsequent to the challenge in Figure 3, a cl
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
```
Consider using "after".
#### Section 5, paragraph 1
```
requirements, the resource servers needs a way of accessing
information abou
^^^^^
```
The verb form "needs" does not seem to match the subject "servers".
#### Section 6.2, paragraph 6
```
ation server as a result of the requirements propagation method
described he
^^^^^^^^^^^^
```
An apostrophe may be missing.
## Notes
This review is in the ["IETF Comments" Markdown format][ICMF], You
can use the
[`ietf-comments` tool][ICT] to automatically convert this review into
individual GitHub issues. Review generated by the
[`ietf-reviewtool`][IRT].
[ICMF]: https://github.com/mnot/ietf-comments/blob/main/format.md
[ICT]: https://github.com/mnot/ietf-comments
[IRT]: https://github.com/larseggert/ietf-reviewtool
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