(must delurk to say) Very nice! May I show this to family? Robert
----- Original Message ----- From: "JC Dill" <jcdill.li...@gmail.com> Cc: "NANOG list" <nanog@nanog.org> Sent: Wednesday, December 22, 2010 3:13 AM Subject: Re: Holiday Songs > > > Network Working Group B. Hancock > Request for Comments: 1882 Network-1 Software and Technology, Inc. > Category: Informational December 1995 > > The 12-Days of Technology Before Christmas > > Status of this Memo > > This memo provides information for the Internet community. This memo > does not specify an Internet standard of any kind. Distribution of > this memo is unlimited. > > Discussion > > On the first day of Christmas, technology gave to me: > A database with a broken b-tree (what the hell is a b-tree > anyway?) > > On the second day of Christmas, technology gave to me: > Two transceiver failures (CRC errors? Collisions? What is > going on?) > And a database with a broken b-tree (Rebuild WHAT? It's a > 10GB database!) > > On the third day of Christmas, technology gave to me: > Three French users (who, of course, think they know > everything) > Two transceiver failures (which are now spewing packets all > over the net) > And a database with a broken b-tree (Backup? What backup?) > > On the fourth day of Christmas, technology gave to me: > Four calls for support (playing the same Christmas song over > and over) > Three French users (Why do they like to argue so much over > trivial things?) > Two transceiver failures (How the hell do I know which ones > they are?) > And a database with a broken b-tree (Pointer error? What's a > pointer error?) > > On the fifth day of Christmas, technology gave to me: > Five golden SCSI contacts (Of course they're better than > silver!) > Four support calls (Ever notice how time stands still when on > hold? > Three French users (No, we don't have footpedals on PC's. Why > do you ask?) > Two transceiver failures (If I knew which ones were bad, I > would know which ones to fix!) > And a database with a broken b-tree (Not till next week? Are > you nuts?!?!) > > On the sixth day of Christmas, technology gave to me: > Six games a-playing (On the production network, of course!) > Five golden SCSI contacts (What do you mean "not terminated!") > Four support calls (No, don't transfer me again - do you HEAR? > Damn!) > Three French users (No, you cannot scan in by putting the page > to the screen...) > Two transceiver failures (I can't look at the LEDs - they're > in the ceiling!) > And a database with a broken b-tree (Norway? That's where this > was written?) > > On the seventh day of Christmas, technology gave to me: > Seven license failures (Expired? When?) > Six games a-playing (Please stop tying up the PBX to talk to > each other!) > Five golden SCSI contacts (What do you mean I need "wide" > SCSI?) > Four support calls (At least the Muzak is different this > time...) > Three French Users (Well, monsieur, there really isn't an > "any" key, but...) > Two transceiver failures (SQE? What is that? If I knew I would > set it myself!) > And a database with a broken b-tree (No, I really need to talk > to Lars - NOW!) > > On the eighth day of Christmas, technology gave to me: > Eight MODEMs dialing (Who bought these? They're a security > violation!) > Seven license failures (How many WEEKS to get a license?) > Six games a-playing (What do you mean one pixel per packet on > updates?!?) > Five golden SCSI contacts (Fast SCSI? It's supposed to be > fast, isn't it?) > Four support calls (I already told them that! Don't transfer > me back - DAMN!) > Three French users (No, CTL-ALT-DEL is not the proper way to > end a program) > Two transceiver failures (What do you mean "babbling > transceiver"?) > And a database with a broken b-tree (Does anyone speak English > in Oslo?) > > On the ninth day of Christmas, technology gave to me: > Nine lady executives with attitude (She said do WHAT with the > servers?) > Eight MODEMs dialing (You've been downloading WHAT?) > Seven license failures (We sent the P.O. two months ago!) > Six games a-playing (HOW many people are doing this to the > network?) > Five golden SCSI contacts (What do you mean two have the same > ID?) > Four support calls (No, I am not at the console - I tried that > already.) > Three French users (No, only one floppy fits at a time? Why do > you ask?) > Two transceiver failures (Spare? What spare?) > And a database with a broken b-tree (No, I am trying to find > Lars! L-A-R-S!) > > On the tenth day of Christmas, technology gave to me: > Ten SNMP alerts flashing (What is that Godawful beeping?) > Nine lady executives with attitude (No, it used to be a mens > room? Why?) > Eight MODEMs dialing (What Internet provider? We don't allow > Internet here!) > Seven license failures (SPA? Why are they calling us?) > Six games a-playing (No, you don't need a graphics accelerator > for Lotus! ) > Five golden SCSI contacts (You mean I need ANOTHER cable?) > Four support calls (No, I never needed an account number > before...) > Three French users (When the PC sounds like a cat, it's a head > crash!) > Two transceiver failures (Power connection? What power > connection?) > And a database with a broken b-tree (Restore what index > pointers?) > > On the eleventh day of Christmas, technology gave to me: > Eleven boards a-frying (What is that terrible smell?) > Ten SNMP alerts flashing (What's a MIB, anyway? What's an > extension?) > Nine lady executives with attitude (Mauve? Our computer room > tiles in mauve?) > Eight MODEMs dialing (What do you mean you let your roommate > dial-in?) > Seven license failures (How many other illegal copies do we > have?!?!) > Six games a-playing (I told you - AFTER HOURS!) > Five golden SCSI contacts (If I knew what was wrong, I > wouldn't be calling!) > Four support calls (Put me on hold again and I will slash your > credit rating!) > Three French users (Don't hang your floppies with a magnet > again!) > Two transceiver failures (How should I know if the connector > is bad?) > And a database with a broken b-tree (I already did all of > that!) > > On the twelfth day of Christmas, technology gave to me: > Twelve virtual pipe connections (There's only supposed to be > two!) > Eleven boards a-frying (What a surge suppressor supposed to > do, anyway?) > Ten SNMP alerts flashing (From a distance, it does kinda look > like XMas lights.) > Nine lady executives with attitude (What do you mean aerobics > before backups?) > Eight MODEMs dialing (No, we never use them to connect during > business hours.) > Seven license failures (We're all going to jail, I just know > it.) > Six games a-playing (No, no - my turn, my turn!) > Five golden SCSI contacts (Great, just great! Now it won't > even boot!) > Four support calls (I don't have that package! How did I end > up with you!) > Three French users (I don't care if it is sexy, no more nude > screen backgrounds!) > Two transceiver failures (Maybe we should switch to token > ring...) > And a database with a broken b-tree (No, operator - Oslo, > Norway. We were just talking and were cut off...) > > Security Considerations > > Security issues are not discussed in this memo. > > Author's Address > > Bill Hancock, Ph.D. > Network-1 Software& Technology, Inc. > DFW Research Center > 878 Greenview Dr. > Grand Prairie, TX 75050 > > EMail:hanc...@network-1.com <mailto:hanc...@network-1.com> > Phone: (214) 606-8200 > > Fax: (214) 606-8220 > > From: > http://www.faqs.org/rfcs/rfc1882.html > > > > >
