for everybody out there who likes a good mystery, the "900 ping" issue has happened mid-day as well for the first time. it is the equivalent of yanking the ethernet cable. so it is not an exclusively resume connected, but resume (and startup) is a way to reproduce instantly.
this time however when dhclient went to grab a new lease, it started spinning and had to be killed. so i made a debug version and hope to gdb attach to it. perhaps it is not a timeout, because network activity must be present, if i dont start pinging, connections never come back. so perhaps it is filling up some buffer? what a nice guessing game :) -f -- my favorite mythical creature? the honest politician.