Hi Patrick, My Gui problem is (was) quite similar. I was searching intensivly for a correct,fast,non bloated desktop manager for years. I have checked at least 10 products ( non windows ) and in the end i felt depressed,like you. So what saved my live ? At work i had to build an environment for java and db developers that works on an enterprise linux distro. These distros came typically with gnome2. Being a terminal server and doing some more intense compiling tasks, system became slow. Developers were angry because they were only used to ms windows. Then i remembered openbsd and fvwm. I took a deep dive into fvwm and figured out that it can do nearly anything. I build my config ( beginning from a large sample config that ships with it. Ms windows 95 style). I cleaned out about 50% i dont need. I integrated the development tools and then everything went like tux on crack. It took some time but i was happy with the achieved. After that fvwm became the wm of my choice and i am still happy. I really can recommend fvwm. Even if it looks a little bit oldschool and hard to understand in first place,this is the window manager with coolness (correctness) in mind. I even think it the openbsd of the window managers.
P.s. Good to see thomas adam around at openbsd . Great work !