I found that the option in the safari preferences to highlight items on the web page using the tab key had become unchecked. I checked it, and that helped for a while. But I did eventually start having the problem again, while the option was still checked. I have installed the latest build of webkit and am using that instead of Safari. It greatly reduced the "busy" problem and the tabbing problem has also almost gone away. There is one site that still seems to have problems, but even it is not consistent. So I'd say try webkit and see if that makes things better.
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