There was a shindig today. It was attended by a community of misfits and elderly geeks, some pushing the wrong side of 35, obviously well past their "use by" date.
It was opened by a weirdly coiffure'd person speaking about Elvis, of all things. Elvis, obviously, has significant timing problems, since his frequency has been administratively increased from 100 appearances per alien abductee to 1024. Which is, nevertheless, progress. Then a person with a very variegated taste in shirts spoke to the assembled about parasitic insects' victims which send each other letters. Thus, Host A send Host B something (and, sometimes, vice versa) which Host C, for some ineffable reason, wants to hijack. While highly unlikely, since rarely do hosts hijack anything, unless they are hostesses, of course, in which case they are likely to catch something and not hijack, barring Muslim gentlemen with rudimentary flight training, in which case they are hijacked and do no hijack themselves which, basically, means tha.... Never mind. There were no loo breaks so all suffered distended bladders. Then came a film in which a whole collection of aging communist hippies lashed out at Microsoft, denigrating the glorious company's contribution to world culture, technology and, incidentally, to quite a few Congressmen and Senators. These representatives of the drug taking, stuttering, unwashing, oversexed, under-stratified and otherwise anti- American elements lauded a damned foreigner's method of playing Solitaire! The attack on our culture is intensifying, mein komaraden! After the film ended, there was a signing of some form of Satanic contracts in the cafeteria and finally a drunken binge! I, of course, can say nothing of the stubby monkey which climbed the stage and, instead of singing the Anthem, declaimed something in an unhuman language, waves his arms a bit and climbed off. Who the fuck was he? Your Reporter
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